COOK STEALS LOBSTER TAILS
From the Bellagio in Las Vegas
NUDISTS NOT GETTING THEIR MAIL
Go figure.
MAN ABOUT TO EAT HIS 30,000TH BIG MAC
10-and-a-half cows.
ELVIS PRESLEY RUNNING FOR CONGRESS
And his mama cries.
SELF-DRIVING CARS CAN'T GO THROUGH CAR WASHES
All sorts of potential trouble.
CHICKEN RUSTLERS CAUGHT
Now they’re cooped up in prison.
GIRL SCOUT COOKIE-FLAVORED COFFEE
At Dunkin’ Donuts
MISSISSIPPI WORKING TO BAN FAKE URINE
The Mississippi Urine Trouble Act.
PRESIDENT TRUMP'S MILITARY PARADE
He still wants one.
MARINE CORPS LOWERS STANDARDS
Hiking is hard!