10 JOKE OF THE DAY

She says, “Yes, why?”
He says, “Because I’d have more room if you’d roll your arse back onto your side of the bed!”

He has a carrot on his shoulder.

Because he didn’t habanero.

Pharmacist says, “Yes you can.”
The guy says, “Can I get it over the counter?”
The pharmacist said, “I don’t know. Maybe if you take four or five of ’em.”

Because his mother was a wafer so long.

A lavacado.

“Someone just fell off the roof of a nightclub!”
Operator says, “Who was it?”
“Caller says, “Well, it wasn’t the bouncer.”

He takes it outside to drink on a bench. A nun walks by and scolds him: “How can you pollute your soul with the Devil’s drink?” The man replies, “It’s not the Devil, it’s just whiskey.” They go back and forth, until the nun admits she’s never actually tasted whiskey. She says, “Maybe if I had just a sip, I’d understand better. But I can’t be seen drinking out here. Could you order me one in a teacup?” The man goes back inside, and says to the bartender: “Two whiskeys, but put one in a teacup, please.” The bartender yells: “Is that nun here AGAIN?!”

It just keeps ringing.

She smiles back. He smiles again. She smiles back. FInally, she says, “When you smile at me, I want to invite you back to my place.
He says, “Are you married?”
She says, “No, I’m a dentist.”