What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don’t think they are funny, and non-lawyers don’t think they are jokes.
King Tut calls a restaurant to make a reservation.
The host says, “What’s the name?”
Tut says, ” “Tutankhamun.”
Host says, “How do you spell that?”
Tut says, “Hawk, loaf of bread, water ripple, water ripple, wheat stalk, scarab, owl.”
So Judas says to Jesus, “Hey, are you coming to the last supper tonight?”
Jesus says, “The what???”
Judas goes, “Uh, the SUPPER… Are you coming to the SUPPER tonight…”
Why should you wear glasses in math class?
It helps with di-vision.
You know the problem with the winter Olympics?
They start out okay, but then go downhill fast
A man is in the Emergency Room waiting area.
Doctor comes out, says, “I have some bad news. I’m afraid your mother has—”
The guys says, “No, that’s not my mother. That’s my mother-in-law.”
Doctor says, “Well, in that case, I have some good news.”
Why did the crab cross the road?
It didn’t. It used the sidewalk.
I once went out with a girl who had “yes yes” in her eyes…
… but no no’s on her face.