SPIDER IN THE EAR
Eight arms to hold you.
DENMARK’S QUEEN QUITS QUEENING
Lousy country, but their flag is a big plus.
LUCASFILM SUES STAR WARS CAR WASH IN CHILE
Let the foam applicator be with you.
SNAKE BITES MAN, MAN BITES SNAKE, VILLAGERS EAT SNAKE
Fangs for nothin’.
MAN STEALS $23,000 FROM OTHER PLANE PASSENGERS MID-FLIGHT
Curses, airfoiled again.
SANTA SHOWS UP WITHOUT FULL COSTUME; PARENTS MAD
Musta left it back in the workshop.
THE MOST DANGEROUS COUNTRIES
Don’t go there.
TESCO STUFFING RECALLED DUE TO MOTHS IN THE MIX
Does this taste cocoony to you?
FRAUD ALLEGED IN CANADIAN BIRD CONTEST
For the birds.
PERFORMER FALLS FROM CIRCUS WHEEL OF DEATH
Send in the clowns. No, seriously, send them in.