300,000 CONDOMS ON ORDER FOR THE PARIS OLYMPICS
Oh, the French and their ticklers!
REAL ESTATE AGENT BURNED DOWN HOUSE SHE WAS SELLING
She though she was hot sheet.
GUY HAD FEET AMPUTATED FOR INSURANCE FRAUD
Toed you it wouldn’t work.
PET DNA TESTING COMPANY COULDN’T SPOT HUMAN DNA
Reporter is 25 percent Labrador Retriever.
PLUMMETING PLANE? IT WAS THE STEWARDESS’ FAULT
Because of course it was.
INVENTOR OF THE KARAOKE MACHINE DIES AT 100
Can I get a courtesy clap?
TORONTO: CITY OF CAR THIEVES
Better to be safe than soar-ry.