MAN SETS HIS OWN HOUSE ON FIRE TO SEE FIREFIGHTERS IN ACTION
Arse-onist.
PATROL CAR STOLEN WHILE COPS WERE ON FOOT CHASE
No, YOU were supposed to lock it.
CHILD DAMAGES $57 MILLION PAINTING
Should-be headline: Child “damages” “$57 million” “painting.”
GERMAN MYSTERY WRITER FOUND MURDERED
Der Mord, She Wrote.
FINGER WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIPS
How did ESPN miss this?
AUDIO: AUSTRALIAN RADIO STATION CAUGHT USING A.I. DJ
Nothing can go wrong. Go wrong. Go wrong. Go wrong.
AIRPLANE OVERRUN BY MOSQUITOS
Call the SWAT team.