DEAD POPE HIT WITH MAXWELL’S SILVER HAMMER
It’s hammer time!
NORTH KOREA SENDS POOP BALLOONS; SOUTH KOREA RETALIATES WITH BOY BAND MUSIC
It’s BTS! Head for the shelter!
ROBOTS RUN AGAINST HUMANS IN RACE, LOSE
The possibility of successfully navigating a half-marathon is approximately three-thousand, seven-hundred and twenty to one.
SCIENTISTS MAYBE FIND SIGNS OF LIFE ON INCREDIBLY DISTANT PLANET
Plankton flatulence.
FANCY RESTAURANT SERVES ELEPHANT DUNG DESSERT
Eat shit and diet.
AUSTRALIAN MONOPOLY RECORD
You have won a beauty contest.
CANADA ORDERS SHOPS TO DESTROY AUSTRALIAN VEGEMITE
It comes from a land down under.