THE 30-YEAR-OLD QUARTER POUNDER
McHistory.
FRENCH CYCLIST FALLS INTO RAVINE, SURVIVES THREE DAYS ON RED WINE
The wine had legs; he didn’t.
MASSIVE WHIPPED CREAM THEFT
Aw, man, we got whipped off!
MAN’S OWN FAULT HE WAS CRUSHED TO DEATH BY A POP-UP URINAL
Urine trouble now.
SPANISH CHAIR THIEVES CAUGHT
¡Agarraos a vuestros asientos!
MAKER OF THE LIFT TRUCK USED IN LOUVRE HEIST MAKES AN AD
“When Things Have To Go Quickly.”
BEAUTY PAGEANT CONTESTANT MISHEARS NAME DURING SEMIFINALS
No, not you. Go back.
DIRECTOR OF THE LOUVRE DOESN’T LOSE HER JOB AFTER ROBBERY
Resignation unaccepted.
CHINESE RESTAURANT FISH TANK BREAKS
“Sea bass?” “Yes, I see it coming now.”