MAN WINS “LYING DOWN” CHAMPIONSHIP
Snooze you l̶o̶s̶e̶ win.
POLICE HOPE TO IDENTIFY BURGLAR BY HIS ASS
Cheeky bastard.
AUSTRALIAN BAR RULES: NO STARING
Go be creepy somewhere else.
WEATHER FORECASTERS FIRED FOR WRONG FORECAST
You don’t need a weatherman to know which the wind blows.
FINLAND PRIME MINISTER APOLOGIZES FOR PHOTO OF TOPLESS KISSING WOMEN
I’mma let you Finnish, but…
JAPANESE MAN DOES NOTHING, GETS PAID FOR IT
How did my high school guidance counselor not offer this as a career?
PILOTS FALL ASLEEP, MISS LANDING
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain snoring.
GIRL BITES SNAKE
Don’t mess with a 2-year-old.