82-FOOT DINOSAUR DISCOVERED IN MAN’S BACKYARD
Jurassic yard.
AUSTRALIAN BAR RULES: NO STARING
Go be creepy somewhere else.
WEATHER FORECASTERS FIRED FOR WRONG FORECAST
You don’t need a weatherman to know which the wind blows.
FINLAND PRIME MINISTER APOLOGIZES FOR PHOTO OF TOPLESS KISSING WOMEN
I’mma let you Finnish, but…
JAPANESE MAN DOES NOTHING, GETS PAID FOR IT
How did my high school guidance counselor not offer this as a career?
PILOTS FALL ASLEEP, MISS LANDING
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain snoring.
GIRL BITES SNAKE
Don’t mess with a 2-year-old.
WOMAN TAKES OUT FULL PAGE NEWSPAPER AD TO CALL HUSBAND A CHEATER
And there’s a sale at Penney’s!
MAN WAKES UP TO DISCOVER HE’S BEEN SACRIFICED TO THE EARTH GODDESS
That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.