KANSAS MAN CAUGHT TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH A CAR

Police in Newton, Kansas, took a 24-year-old man to the emergency room May 1 after he was found attempting to have sex with a car. Cops responded to a report of a naked male underneath a car. They discovered the man was attempting to stick his penis into the tailpipe. The suspect did not respond to officer commands and so a taser was used to subdue him. They believe he was high on some sort of drug, as he was intoxicated to the point he was nearly incoherent.
* Maybe it was “Crazy Stupid Love”?
* “Get a garage!”
* The tailpipe? Isn’t your junk supposed to go in the trunk?
* Blame the advertising agencies:
– Nissan – built for the human race.
– Ford – go further.
– Toyota – I love what you do for me.
– Pontiac – designed for action.
– Imagine yourself in a Mercury.
– But wouldn’t you really rather “have” a Buick?
CLIP: A nice bed for the story – Queen’s “I’m in Love With My Car”