WOMAN THROWS SQUID OVER MAN

A 61-year-old Jupiter, Florida, woman evening walked up to her boyfriend, who was eating squid outside a restaurant, slapped him in the face, and then threw the squid at him covering him with it. A witness said Joanne Accetturo also grabbed one of the outdoor chairs at Einstein Bros. Bagels and repeatedly tried to hit him with it. She next threw the man’s wallet and fled in a Buick Lesabre. The incident happened last Monday; Accetturo was arrested early Tuesday at her Jupiter home, and released under supervision later that night.
* But mostly, the squid.
* She released the Kraken.
* She sucker-punched him.
* Maybe he told her, “So I’m seeing another woman. Soshumi!” And she did.
* It sounds like she was baiting him.
* Make that her ex-boyfriend.
* Einstein Bros Bagels? Okay, she hit him with a bagel. We don’t need to give them a plug here.
* That’s it: Sponsored crime scene stories!
* “The criminal broke in using a handsome Black and Decker crowbar.”