WOMAN THREATENS LOTTERY OFFICIALS BECAUSE SHE NEVER WINS

A Pennsylvania woman has allegedly threatened to kill state lottery officials because she never wins. Towanda Shields, 47, of Philadelphia was “completely obsessed with the lottery.” Shields made the “very graphic and vulgar” threats by phone and by leaving voice mails between April and December 2016, giving specific dates in which lottery workers would be killed. Shields is charged with three counts of terroristic threats and 25 counts each of harassment and stalking.
* She will be sentenced to a few hours of education.
* Tell her that everyone can win eventually. You just have to work your way through every possible number combination.
* Wait – this would make a fantastic class-action lawsuit.
* “Graphic and vulgar”? Hey, it’s a death threat – there’s no need to be off-color, too.
* I blame the whole participation trophy thing.
* See, people don’t learn how to lose. They’re used to getting a trophy no matter what.
* It’s basically what happened in the last election.
* Maybe she’ll do better in the prison bingo games.
* She was mad because she never wins? I’d be happy just to win once.
* Scratch-off this.