WOMAN SETS STORE ON FIRE BECAUSE THERE WERE NO SHOPPING CARTS

A woman walked into the Dollar Tree Store in Kent, Washington, then mentioned to an employee that there weren’t any carts. She said she was going elsewhere to shop and left. She returned and said something about “burning the store down,” according to police. She went to the greeting card aisle, then came back and announced, “The store is on fire.” Employees tried to put the fire out but failed. The fire spread from the Dollar Tree Store to five adjacent businesses. Seventy-five firefighters battled the blaze, which burned for 24 hours. Last Wednesday, prosecutors charged Linda Poplawski, 64, with first-degree arson.
* In her defense, maybe she saw a spider.
* Luckily, no carts were damaged, ’cause they didn’t have any.
* Five adjacent businesses burned, too. So it was like the opposite of “sharing the love.”
* You know we should have an entire wing of the Wacky News Museum devoted to overreactions. I see a pattern here.
* How come that “Superstore” show never gets plots this wild?
* Black Friday came early to this store. Black as in soot.
* She went to the greeting card aisle? You mean they make cards for arson?
* “Roses are red, and fire engines are too. Get out of the store or I’ll incinerate you.”