WOMAN FIRED FOR BAKING LAXATIVES INTO FAREWELL BROWNIES

A Saline, Michigan, engineering company employee has been fired for baking laxatives into brownies intended for a departing colleague’s send-off. Officers confiscated the brownies on May 3 after another employee at MMI Engineered Solutions tipped off management. No one ate the brownies, and the 47-year-old unnamed employee woman admitted she had put the laxative in the treats. Other employees told police there may have been tension between the woman and the departing employee.
* She wasn’t sorry to see her fellow employee go.
* She didn’t like the departing employee because they were a brown-noser.
* What brand of brownies were they? Duncan Hiney? Betty Crapper?
* Sure, this would have been the perfect crime. The next day, everyone’s wondering, “Gee, what do we all have in common? What COULD it BE?”
* Later, the police were able to use the brownies in their interrogations.
* “No bathroom break ’til you tell us who did it!”