WEDNESDAY, Oct 30 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, October 30, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: VAMPIRE FLEX TAPE; A & M AUTOLAND – Halloween Pumpkins

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CREATE A GREAT FUNERAL DAY
The National Today website says this:
“The aim of Create a Great Funeral Day is to develop an environment where people feel comfortable enough to think and talk about how they would like to be remembered and to allow the peace of mind that comes from knowing the departed soul’s final wishes have been fulfilled. With everything planned much in advance, funerals will not add to the stress of loved ones who are already struggling with their bereavement. Planning your funeral ahead of time, irrespective of age or state of health is also an excellent way to dwell on your legacy and on leaving good memories behind.”

MISCHIEF NIGHT
The National Today website says this:
“Mischief Night is on October 30, and we are ready to play pranks on folks around us in a healthy way. Enjoy it, have fun, and share a healthy laugh with everyone, even the subjects of your pranks. Entertain your neighborhood with silly, funny, and innocent pranks, strictly for laughs.”

NATIONAL CANDY CORN DAY
The Punchbowl website says this:
“George Renninger of the Wunderle Candy Company created candy corn in the 1880s. It was made to mimic a kernel of corn and became instantly popular because of its innovative design. It was one of the first candies to feature three different colors. The National Confectioners Association estimates that 20 million pounds of candy corn are sold annually.”

October is:

Adopt a Shelter Dog Month
American Cheese Month
Car Care Month
Child Health Month
Consumer Information Month
Cookbook Month
Country Music Month
Fire Prevention Month
National Pizza Month
National Popcorn Month
National Service Dog Month
Vegetarian Awareness Month

THE BUZZ

I DATED AN IMBECILE

Reddit asked, “How did you find out you were dating an imbecile?” Some of the responses:
– “I once briefly dated a guy who thought sweetened coffee had zero calories because ‘the sugar has dissolved, so it’s not there.'”
– “I went to the opera with a guy. After it ended, he said, loud enough for others to hear, ‘I like how they did that with so little dialogue!’ He was not trying to be funny.”
– “They asked me, ‘Which one’s the female, the lion or the tiger?'”
– “My girl told me that she had learned something new: the president of the United States is not the president of everything. In fact, other places, like England, Australia, and China, have their own president.”
– “I once dated someone who pronounced the ‘T’ in buffet.”
– “I had a roommate, his girlfriend made and brought potato salad to a picnic. It was oddly crunchy. She said, ‘I wanted to bring something I didn’t have to cook.’ She had chopped up potatoes and mixed them raw with mayo.”
– “Guy I was dating said the doctor asked him, ‘How did you get food poisoning twice from the same dish?’ He said, ‘Hey doc, whatever doesn’t kill ya only makes you stronger.’ The doctor replied, ‘No, it actually makes you incredibly sick.'”
– “I was driving across west Texas with a woman in the evening she asked why there were so many crosses in the desert, I was laughing when I told her they were cactus.”
* PHONE TOPIC: When did you know the person your were dating was a, uh, idiot?

CROWS HOLD A GRUDGE FOR 17 YEARS

In case you were still wondering why we don’t have flying cars, it’s this: a scientist has determined that crows can hold a grudge for 17 years. John Marzluff, a professor at Seattle’s University of Washington, was curious about how long crows, which are very intelligent birds, can remember things. Back in 2006, Professor Marzluff trapped seven crows on the university campus while wearing an ogre mask. He released the birds soon after, then watched to see how they would respond to the sight of that ogre mask. For years, when the crows saw him in the mask, the would make aggressive caws, indicating danger. The aggressive behavior continued but slowly tapered off up to this September, 17 years later, when all crows who encountered the mask appeared to ignore it.
* Hey, Professor Marzluff. John! It took me three seconds to find out on Google that crows only live 7-8 years. THOSE AREN’T THE SAME CROWS, DUMMY! DUHH! DUUUUUHHHHHHH!!!
* Sorry, Professor, but crows in general just don’t like the ogre mask. Depending on how they feel that day.
* Still, I’m sure you accomplished some other worthwhile stuff in those 17 years. Hopefully.
* He thinks crows can hold a grudge for 17 years. But that’s not the only amazing thing about animals:
– Gerbils remember what you had for dinner a week ago.
– Moose can tell you where you left your car keys.
– The Canadian lynx knows when your nails need trimming.
– The grey whale can remind you of your next dentist appointment.

U.S. NEWS

FLORIDA MAN THREATENS SON WITH MACHETE FOR FORGETTING HIS BIRTHDAY

In Coconut Creek, Florida, a man has been charged with assault after allegedly threatening his son with a machete for forgetting to wish him a happy birthday. Police say that Laron Whiters, 56, became irate last Saturday that his son did not wish him a happy birthday. Mr. Whiters demanded that his son leave the house, to which he refused. Mr. Whiters then went to the garage and began packing his son’s belongings. While doing so, he retrieved a machete and threatened his son, before eventually placing the machete down and moving his son’s belongings to the driveway. There was a small physical confrontation, police were called, and eventually Mr. Whiters was arrested and the machete was recovered. The son declined to press charges.
* Well, there, you see? “Declined to press charges.” There’s a nice birthday gift. Practical and personal.
* I think this would qualify more as an UNhappy birthday.
* Is there a card for this? “To say Happy Birthday / I sometimes fergits / But please, dear Daddy / Don’t chop me to bits.”
* Maybe the machete was to cut the birthday cake?

CONNECTICUT BANS CANDLES IN JACK-O-LANTERNS

Connecticut state officials are telling citizens to not put lighted candles in their jack-o-lanterns this year. The state is on high fire danger alert due to dry weather, strong winds and a lack of rain in the forecast. There are currently several brush fires across Connecticut. Pumpkins fall under the state’s current ban on outdoor flames on public lands. The ban is in place until further notice.
* They’re also banning those Hot Tamale candies, just to be extra sure that no one drops one in the grass.
* So they think a pumpkin may blow off the porch, roll down the street into an open field, and cause a brush fire. Is Connecticut built at an angle or something?
* I guess when Trick-or-Treaters come to the door, you could show them a TikTok video of a jack-o-lantern.
* Good news for stores that sell glow-sticks. And flashlights.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

FERRARI DEALER CHARGING $2.9M JUST TO GET ON THE LIST TO BUY A FERRARI

Ferrari is selling it’s upcoming F80 hybrid hypercar for $3.9 million dollars. That’s expensive enough, but one German Ferrari dealer, KB Lease-Invest GmbH, is adding a surcharge just to get on the list for one: they are charging another $2.5 million on top of the $3.9 million, just for the privilege of buying one. If you do plop down that kind of money, expect a delivery date sometime in 2025.
* (pause) I’m sorry, I was distracted by the famine in the Sudan. What were you saying?
* What’s more, every time you brag to somebody that you’re on the list, it’s an extra 100 grand.
* It’s a “hybrid hypercar.” Emphasis on HYPE.
* This is like when Ticketmaster makes you buy a ticket 12 months before the show, so they can hold your money and earn the interest. And at $2.5 million dollars, I think the Ticketmaster metaphor is appropriate.
* The ball’s in your court, Lamborghini.

TRENDING

TERI GARR, DEAD AT 79

The wonderful actress Teri Garr has died at age 79. Garr passed away in Los Angeles after a long battle with multiple sclerosis. She was best known for her roles in the films “Young Frankenstein” and “Tootsie,” the latter of which earned her an Oscar nomination. She also appeared in “Close Encounters of the Third Kind,” “Mr. Mom,” “Dumb and Dumber,” “The Black Stallion,” “Oh, God,” and many, many more, including six Elvis Presley musicals in the 1960s. She appeared on the original “Star Trek,” and was a regular on “The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour.” She played Phoebe Abbot in three episodes of “Friends.” In 2002, Garr revealed that she had been secretly battling multiple sclerosis since the 1980s. “I really didn’t think there was any reason to come out and say anything about it,” she told interviewer Larry King on CNN at the time. “I think now, the good news is there is a lot of good medicine out there,” she added. “If I can just help people to feel better.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TOMORROW – Halloween
Nov. 3, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Ends, turn clocks back 1 hour
Nov. 5, Tuesday – Election Day
Nov. 11, Monday – Veterans Day
Nov. 28, Thursday – Thanksgiving
Dec. 21, Saturday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:21 a.m. (EST)
Dec. 25, Wednesday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Tuesday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Wednesday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Kennedy McMann (actress, “Nancy Drew”) … 28
Janel Parrish (actress, “Pretty Little Liars”) … 36
Billy Brown (actor, “How to Get Away With Murder”) … 54
Kevin Pollak (actor) … 67
Timothy B. Schmit (bassist with The Eagles) … 77
Henry Winkler (actor and director, “Barry”, The Fonz in “Happy Days”) … 79
Otis Williams (singer with The Temptations) … 83
Grace Slick (singer with Jefferson Airplane, Starship, etc.) … 85

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“If you make compelling television, they will come.”

(A) Kim Kardashian
(B) Ryan Seacrest
(C) Henry Winkler

ANSWER: (C) Henry Winkler

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2023 – According to Forbes, former basketball player Magic Johnson became the fourth athlete to become a billionaire (after Michael Jordan, Lebron James, and Tiger Woods).
* C’mon Shaq! Catch up! Do more TV commercials!

2012 – Walt Disney purchased Lucasfilm Ltd and its rights to Star Wars and Indiana Jones for $4.05 billion.
* There was a great disturbance in the Force!

1988 – The Reverend Sun Myung Moon of the Moonies married 6516 couples in South Korea. The couples had only met the previous day.
* Now THAT’S what I call a matchmaking service.

1979 – The U.S. Department of Education was formed.
* And since then, kids’ test scores have skyrocketed, making the U.S the leader in world education!

1938 – Orson Welles’ radio broadcast of “The War of the Worlds” caused panic across America when people thought we were being invaded by Martians.
* All that anxiety and no such thing as Prozac.

1838 – Oberlin College in Ohio became the first higher education institution to admit women on equal terms with men.
* Because women were more likely to get out of bed and actually attend some of the lectures.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2019 – The top-earning dead celebrities revealed by Forbes showed that Michael Jackson’s earnings dwarfed others in the list for a seventh year in a row – he earned $60m as streams of his music rose to 2.1 billion and money continued to pour in from his back catalogue. Elvis Presley was said to have made $39m, George Harrison an estimated $9m in the last 12 months, while John Lennon made $14m.

004 – An arrest warrant was issued for Motley Crue singer Vince Neil after he allegedly knocked a soundman unconscious during a concert. Neil was said to have punched Michael Talbert in the face at Gilley’s nightclub in Dallas after he asked the soundman for more volume on his guitar but attacked Talbert as he adjusted it, leaving him unconscious for 45 seconds.

2002 – Rapper Jam Master Jay of Run-DMC was killed in a shooting in New York at age 37.

1998 – All four original members of Black Sabbath reunited momentarily to play “Paranoid” on the David Letterman Show.

1990 – Guns N’ Roses singer Axl Rose was released on $10,000 bail, after being arrested for allegedly hitting a neighbor over the head with a bottle. The incident happened after a complaint to the police about loud music coming from the singer’s house.

1988 – Kurt Cobain smashed his very first guitar.

1978 – NBC-TV aired the animated TV movie “Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park,” in which the band Kiss foils a mad scientist.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Research has found the smell of THIS makes people nicer to each other. What is it?
Coffee

2. Scientists say THIS food smell makes people happier. What is it?
Baked potatoes

3. When asked what was their all time favorite smell, nearly 20% of people named THIS. What is it?
The ocean

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