VENEZUELA’S PRESIDENT DECLARES CHRISTMAS STARTS IN OCTOBER

Venezuelan strongman president, Nicolás Maduro – who, it can safely be said, stole his recent election – made an announcement that this year’s Christmas festivities would begin in October. While citizens are protesting and the government cracks down on dissidents, Maduro said during a speech: It’s September and it already feels like Christmas. So this year – as a way of paying tribute to you and thanking you – I’m going to decree that Christmas be brought forward to October 1st.”
* Oh, man… Hacienda Depot still has a warehouse full of unsold 12-foot skeletons.
* Does this mean December 17 is St Patrick’s Day?
* And when should they do their Black Friday shopping?
* Santa released a statement saying “Oh HELL no!!!”
* This sounds shocking until you remember that a lot of big box stores already have their Christmas crap out.