UPHILL SKIING

As if you need more proof that the human race is devolving: Uphill Skiing. Also called “uphilling”, “skinning” or “ski touring”, skiers use specialized sticky coverings for the bottom of their skis and special bindings that release from the heel, like telemarking boots, to hike up to the top of a run. Expect to see more uphillers on the slopes this season. The trend is taking over Colorado, with resorts from Aspen to Crested Butte adding it to their official lineups. It’s also booming in Europe, where you’ll find new uphill skiing programs in Switzerland, the Dolomites, and beyond.
* The other advantage is, fewer people on the lift going down.
* Special coverings and special bindings. Ha-ha! More stuff to buy, suckers!
* After a nice session of uphill skiing, everybody goes into the walk-in freezer, cozies up next to the air conditioner and enjoys a refreshing snowcone.
* Come on, people. It’s not Uphill Skiing. It’s Walking Up The Mountain Wearing Skis.
* “Uphill Skiing” would be if you were holding a rope fastened to a snowmobile pulling you to the top.
* If you like uphill skiing, you’ll love next Spring when all the rage will be Bicycle Carrying.
* And for Summer 2017: Dry Swimming.
* Telemarking boots? I hope you don’t think I know what that is.
* Telemark skiing combines Alpine and Nordic skiing. Telemark skiers use flexible Alpine skis with specially designed bindings that fix only the toe of the ski boot to the ski, thereby creating the “free heel”. – Thanks, Wikipedia.
* They’ve taken over from Aspen to Crested Butte? Well, that about covers it.
* Hey, what about Steamboat Springs? I always loved that name.
* And when does Estes Park get some love? Okay, they don’t have a ski resort but you can drive to one from there.