TUESDAY, Aug 20 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR TUESDAY, August 20, 2024
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TODAY IS …(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL LEMONADE DAY

NATIONAL CHOCOLATE PECAN PIE DAY

NATIONAL RADIO DAY – Yayyyy!

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

RARE BOBA FETT FIGURE SELLS FOR $1,342,000

An extremely rare prototype Boba Fett action figure made for Kenner’s Star Wars line in 1979 has sold for a record-breaking $1,342,000. The J-Slot (Version 2) Rocket-Firing (Mailer) Prototype Boba Fett was made as a prototype in 1979 but never made it to market. The action figure is one of only 30 ever produced, and only three are known to still exist. This was the first to be sold at auction. It’s now the most expensive toy ever sold, the most expensive action figure ever sold and the most expensive non-prop Star Wars-related item ever sold. The reason it never made it to market was due to the risk of injury to children from its firing rocket.
* Said the toy’s new owner, “Ow, my eye!”
* It sold for $1,342,000 because $1,343,000 was just too much.
* You have to admit, it’s more interesting to look at than Dorothy’s Ruby Slippers.
* All that money for a toy, and now if you play with it, it’s worthless.
* Y’now how many Jar Jar Binks action figures you can buy for $1,342,000? A lot more than 1,342.000.

THE BEST ACTOR OF ALL

Daniel Parris is a writer who tried to determine who’s the greatest movie actor of all time, and why? He based his study on three criteria: Rankings from Online Databases; Box Office Success; Oscar Recognition.
And The Greatest Film Actors Are (* Don’t say Adam Sandler…Don’t say Adam Sandler…):
1. Leonardo DiCaprio
2. Paul Newman
3. Al Pacino
4. Jack Nicholson
5. Brad Pitt
6. Tom Hanks
7. Jack Lemmon
8. Denzel Washington
9. Dustin Hoffman
10. Christian Bale
11. Audrey Hepburn
12. Mark Ruffalo
* Well, you can’t argue with the science, although I’m sure Meryl Streep would like to.
* So this is the order in which they’ll be converted into CGI replicas so Hollywood can keep cashing in on them for 100 years.
* You could also title this list “Name 12 actors who have never been in a superhero movie.” Except for Mark Ruffalo, I guess, which is why he’s at the bottom. (And, yes, Brad Pitt had a 1-second cameo in a Deadpool movie, but that ruins the joke.)
* Well, there’s two months of writer Daniel Parris’ time he’ll never get back.

THE BUZZ

THINGS ONLY MY FAMILY SAYS

Reddit asked, “What’s a made up phrase only your family will understand?” Some of the responses:
– “Those little sharp things that hold your corn while you eat? Corn knobs.”
– “Safety lobsters. It’s an oven mitt.”
– “Uff da vey. Being Jewish in Wisconsin, it a combination of ‘oy vey’ and ‘uff dah’ (a Norwegian saying).”
– “When we were younger, my dad used to sneak us into drive-ins in the back of our SUV, and the code word for when we could come out was Pumpkin Pie. 20+ years later, it’s still our codeword.”
– “We called goosebumps Chilly Boogers.”
– “‘Say Hammer.’ My grandfather was choking on a piece of food and all my grandmother could think of to do was tell him to raise his hands and ‘say hammer.’ 60 years later, anytime anybody in my extended family has something go down the wrong pipe, they are told to ‘Say Hammer.'”
– “My friends and I used to joke a lot, but we needed to be serious about something we’d say ‘tea bag.'”
– “Donk. It refers to anyone staring at a cell phone.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What a weird phrase only your family uses?

U.S. NEWS

FLORIDA WOMAN CHARGED IN RAVIOLI ATTACK

In Clearwater, Florida, a 21-year-old woman was arrested for assaulting her sister with ravioli. Police say Nakhia Davis got mad at her sister after the sister wouldn’t let her have any of the food she brought home. Davis retaliated by throwing a plate of raviolis at her sister. When a patrolman arrived, “the victim still had sauce from the raviolis on her.” Davis reportedly admitted to the ravioli tossing, and was charged with domestic battery.
* Boy oh Boyardi, isn’t it always the way?
* The worstpart? The sister doesn’t really like Italian.
* And in the end, nobody gets the raviolis. This is why you should always buy the big can.
* Nakhia Davis is pretty saucy, and now so is her sister.
* The sister is now suffering from PTSD – Pasta Traumatic Sauce Disorder.

HOSPITAL LOSES MAN’S SKULL DURING BRAIN SURGERY

A man is suing Atlanta’s Emory Hospital after they lost a piece of his skull during brain surgery. Back in September 2022, Fernando Cluster was operated on for a brain bleed. A portion of his skull about the size of a saucer was removed to relieve pressure. When the time came to replace the bone, the hospital couldn’t find it. On top of that, he was charged nearly $150,000 for medical expenses directly related to the hospital’s error – including $19,000 for the synthetic skull implant that was used when his own bone was lost. Cluster is now suing Emory over the extra medical expenses, in addition to the emotional pain and suffering caused by the incident.
* How much pain and suffering? He flipped his lid!
* Cluster insists that heads will roll.
* Looks like the hospital is trying to make a Cluster buck out of a real cluster fu—- well, you know.
* Did they check the cafeteria? If it looked like a saucer, maybe it got mixed in with the lunch tray during surgery.
* He must be out of his head with worry.

AUDIO: PROPOSED MERGER OF 7-ELEVEN AND CIRCLE K

The Canadian owner of the Circle K convenience store chain is making a bid to buy the 7-Eleven convenience store chain, which is owned by a Japanese company. In a statement Monday, Seven & I Holdings, the operator of 7-Eleven, confirmed it had received an offer and had formed a “special committee” to evaluate the proposal and that no decision had yet been made.
* When they got the offer, did 7-Eleven executives make a big gulp?
* Maybe they just want to get their hands on that top-secret Slurpee recipe.
* When Wawa stores heard the news they were stunned, saying “Wha…? Wha…?”
* I hope after they merge and do a big round of “cost cutting,” they won’t compromise the quality of their rotisserie hot dogs.
CLIP: Our classic “Big Burp” parody spot.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/04-10-HeavenElevenBigBurp(dot)mp3

DORITOS INVENTS SPACE CHIPS

Doritos has created what they are calling “Zero Gravity” Doritos that are designed to be eaten in space, thereby allowing astronauts to snack amongst the stars. Called ‘Cool Ranch Zero Gravity Doritos,’ instead of a powdered coating, these have an oil-based coating to keep the dust from floating about the cabin in zero-G. In addition, the chips are bite-sized to mitigate the chances of pieces breaking off and floating around. The “rocket chips” (* har!) will debut on SpaceX’s Polaris Dawn mission later this month.
* And they’re available for $300 a can from the flight attendant during food service.
* What, no dip?
* We’re humans. Wherever we go, we gotta have carbs. SALTY carbs.
* They’ve got to better than what the astronauts have now – Doritos-flavored paste you squeeze from a tube.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

MAN HIT BY WHALE TAIL

An Australian boater suffered serious injuries after being hit by a whale. Jetski riders off the coast of Coolangatta Beach in New South Wales went to the aid of the man when the whale collided with his aluminum skiff around 9 a.m. on Sunday. The whale popped out of the water, and its tail struck the man in the head, knocking him unconscious. He fell back into his boat. He was treated for facial and spinal injuries and is in stable condition.
* What a slapdown.
* Authorities are calling the incident a “real fluke.”
* The place is called New South WALES, I don’t know why anyone is surprised at this.
* To a whale, an aluminum skiff is just a bathtub toy.

THE “FUNNIEST” “JOKES” FROM THE EDINBURGH “FRINGE” FESTIVAL

The annual Edinburgh Festival Fringe is a convention of comedians. UK people, being who they are, feel the need to rank the jokes. Here are the top-ranked “jokes” from the festival. Warning: jokes rarely translate from the stage to print. Also, the British have a very loose definition of the word “joke.” Alright, hang on to your sides so they don’t split:
1. I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.
2. I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward… two steps back.
3. Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. The starter was all right but the mane was dreadful.
4. I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it.
5. I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.
6. My dad used to say to me “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes.
7. British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? [* Spoons is short for Wetherspoons, a corporate pub chain in the UK. Knowing this does not improve the joke.]
8. I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I’ve cracked it.
9. My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had.
10. The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati. [Halloumi is a type of cheese, you see]
11. I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person: my pronouns are ‘there there’.
12. I’ve got a girlfriend who never stops whining. I wish I’d never bought her that vineyard.
13. Gay people are very bad at math. We don’t naturally multiply.
14. Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher. (*Keir Starmer is the current Prime Minister)
15. Growing up rich is a hereditary condition. It affects 1% of people.
* Oh — VINEYARD! Now I get it.
* Yeah, I don’t think Jim Gaffigan or Dave Chappelle are worried.
* I bet these are right bangers while punting on the Thames.
* Maybe if I read them again in a British accent…?
* I guess it’s called the Fringe festival ’cause the jokes are on the fringe of being funny.

TRENDING

KEITH URBAN’S CONCERT RIDER: THE ONE THING HE DEMANDS

Country star Keith Urban, when asked about his concert rider – the list of thing he wants backstage at all of his concerts – said there’s one thing he demands: “If I can get water in a glass, like glass bottle instead of plastic, it just tastes better and probably a bit healthier, that’s about it.”

TV TALK HOST PHIL DONAHUE DIES AT 88

Longtime TV talk show host Phil Donahue died on Sunday night following a long illness, his family said. He was 88. Donahue died at his home surrounded by his family, including his wife of 44 years, Marlo Thomas, his sister, his children, grandchildren and his beloved golden retriever. Donahue pioneered the modern format of issue-based daytime talk shows featuring audience participation. His show became one of the most influential programs of its time.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 2, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Wednesday – Patriot Day
Sept. 20, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 14, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Wednesday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Thursday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Demi Lovato (actress, singer, “Sonny with a Chance”) … 32
Andrew Garfield (actor, one of several to play “Spider-Man”) … 41
Amy Adams (actress, “Hillbilly Elegy,” “The Woman in the Window,” “Sharp Objects”) … 50
Ke Huy Quan (actor, “Loki,” “Everything Everywhere All at Once,” “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom”) … 54
Fred Durst (U.S. rock singer with Limp Bizkit) … 54
James Marsters (actor, “Runaways,” “Angel,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) … 62
Al Roker (TV weatherman) … 70
Robert Plant (singer, Led Zeppelin frontman, “Stairway To Heaven”) … 76

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I like the idea of being alone. I like the idea of often being alone in all aspects of my life. I like to feel lonely.”

(A) Ryan Seacrest
(B) Kim Kardashian
(C) Robert Plant

ANSWER: (C) Robert Plant

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1975 – The unmanned Viking 1 was launched to land on Mars and search for life.
* No strange alien life forms were discovered, so scientists had to content themselves with studying Dennis Rodman.

1956 – The world’s first atomic power station began operating in England. It was called “Sellafield.”
* Which is what you tried to do if you were a nearby farmer.

1945 – The Dodgers’ Tommy Brown, 17, became the youngest player to hit a home run.
* Wonder if he hit one a few weeks earlier on Prom Night?

1913 – Frenchman Adolphe Goud became the first pilot to parachute from an aircraft.
* Must have been a German on his tail.

1896 – The dial telephone was patented.
* It made it easier to call those long phone numbers back then of two, sometimes three digits.

1741 – Alaska was discovered by Danish explorer Vitus Bering.
* Since they hadn’t heard from him in quite a while, the Danish government thought they’d lost their Bering.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2003 – Madame Tussauds in London opened an interactive display with a speaking waxwork of American Idol judge Simon Cowell. The waxwork made comments such as: “That was extraordinary. Unfortunately extraordinarily bad.” “Do you really think that you could become a Pop Idol? Well then, you’re deaf” and “That was the worst performance I’ve ever seen.”

2000 – Bon Jovi brought down the curtain on the 28-year career of London’s Wembley Stadium as a live music venue. The show was the group’s fifth at the 80,000-seat venue.

1996 – Rapper Snoop Doggy Dogg settled out of court with the Woldemariam family in a wrongful death suit which the family brought against the rapper three years earlier. Twenty-year-old Phillip Woldemariam was shot and killed by Snoop Doggy Dogg’s bodyguard from the back of a moving car, which the rapper himself drove. The pair claimed the shooting occurred in self-defense.

1992 – A U.S. doctor filed a $35m lawsuit against the Southwest Bell phone company. He alleged that his wife died because he could not reach 911 due to all lines being jammed by demand of Garth Brooks concert tickets.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to Cosmopolitan Magazine, 1 in 10 people say they have attended THIS event. What is it?
Their ex’s wedding

2. Six months before their wedding day, 70% of brides-to-be admit to being stressed about THIS. What is it?
Their weight

3. According to a recent survey, men are 4 times more likely than women to do THIS at a wedding. What is it?
Check their cell phones

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