TRUCK DRIVER CRASHES WHILE CHANGING PANTS ON THE HIGHWAY

A drunken tractor-trailer driver crashed his rig on Wednesday morning while trying to change his pants while driving at 65 mph down the highway. Police said Allen R. Johnson Sr., 62, was standing up between the front cab seats trying to change his pants while driving when the truck went off Interstate 89 in Williston, Vermont, and rolled on its side. Johnson had a blood alcohol level of 0.21 percent, five times the legal limit.
* These new self-driving trucks … they’re starting to sound pretty good.
* Maybe he was trying to change into clean underwear in case he had an accident, like momma always said.
* What was he steering with? His nose?
* Does he get any points for not speeding?
* Is this common for truckers, to get up and take a little stroll around the cab while you’re barreling down the highway?
* I guess when you’re five times the legal limit, just about anything sounds like a good idea.
* Nice to see that driver in Tracy Morgan’s accident working again.
* On second thought: No, it isn’t.
* Do they have a traffic ticket where you can never drive again?
* If so, I wish we had gotten one for my grandmother.