THURSDAY, Aug 8 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, August 8, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: OLYMPIC CERTIFICATE OF PARTICIPATION; PROMOS-TO-GO

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

INTERNATIONAL CAT DAY

NATIONAL CBD DAY

NATIONAL DOLLAR DAY
Commemorates the day Congress established the U.S. monetary system in 1786.

NATIONAL FROZEN CUSTARD DAY

NATIONAL PICKLEBALL DAY

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites

THURSDAY, August 8

“Mr. Throwback”
Peacock – New Series
Synopsis: Follows a down-on-his-luck memorabilia dealer who looks for redemption by reuniting with his sixth-grade teammate, NBA legend Steph Curry.

“One Fast Move”
Prime Video – New Movie
Synopsis: A dishonorably discharged soldier seeks out his estranged father to help him pursue his dream of racing SuperSport motorcycles.

“Taken Together: Who Killed Lyric and Elizabeth?”
Max – New Docuseries
Synopsis: The mysterious double abduction of young cousins in Iowa sparks a firestorm of controversy.

Season Premiere:
Netflix – “The Umbrella Academy”

FRIDAY, August 9

“13 Days in Ferguson”
CBS – Special Program
Synopsis: Looks at the protests, riots and aftermath following the 2014 police shooting of a young Black man.

“Blue Ribbon Baking Championship”
Netflix – YET ANOTHER BAKING CHALLENGE SHOW
Synopsis: Blue ribbon-winning bakers from state fairs across the U.S. face off for the first time in an epic baking showdown to win top honors and $100,000.

“Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”
Paramount+ – New Animated Series
Synopsis: The Turtles, as teenagers, deal with their new life as heroes while also dealing with the pressures of going to high school in New York City.

“The Instigators”
Apple TV+ – New Movie
Synopsis: Rory and Cobby are unlikely partners thrown together for a heist. However, when it goes awry, they team up to outrun police, backward bureaucrats, and a vengeful crime boss. With Matt Damon and Casey Affleck.

SUNDAY, August 11

“Hollywood Black”
MGM+ – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Chronicles the history of cinema from a radically Black perspective, with personal stories from actors, writers, directors and producers who fought for their place on the page, behind the camera and on the screen.

Season Premieres:
HBO – “Industry”
Paramount+ – “Seal Team”

OLYMPIC NOTES: THURSDAY, AUGUST 8

(Note: We have several Olympic-themed comedy bits in the Comedy MP3 column on the Main Prep Page.)

– Young Olympian Will Receive Pet Duck: 14-year-old Arisa Trew became the youngest Australian to win a gold medal in skateboarding at the Olympics on Wednesday morning. Following her win, Trew was asked what her parents had promised her if she won a gold medal. She replied, “My parents promised me if I won the gold medal I could get a pet duck.”
* If she lost, they were going to get her a ferret as punishment.

– Camera Man Crosses Track During Race: During the second heat of the preliminary rounds of the 5000-meter, as the runners headed into the final four laps of the race, a cameraman suddenly walked across the track, unaware that he was interrupting an Olympic event. He appeared shocked to see the runners pass by and he nearly collided with them. Many runners had to swerve around him to avoid colliding. Only one runner fell in the mishap.

WOMAN FALLS OFF “PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN” BOAT

Disney World staff pulled a possibly unconscious woman from the water inside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at the Magic Kingdom. One witness said the boats had stopped moving and riders were being evacuated by staff. A video taken by another rider shows the staff helping the woman step off the boat when her ankle rolls and she falls into the water. She disappears from view while staff rush to help her – and when staff pull her back into view of the camera, her head is flung backwards. A witness said she disappeared under the water, when they pulled her up she wasn’t moving at all. The visitor was then asked to stop filming and claimed everyone on the ride was given a free pass for another ride in the park.
* Too much rum.
* The Disney staff told everybody, “Don’t Peter Panic!”
* It was like when Jack Sparrow rescued Elizabeth Swann when she fell in the ocean – well, except that was fake.
* Here comes the lawsuit, and there goes the simple joy of getting into a big boat and looking at all the pirate robots.
* She got soaked. Now it’s Disney World’s turn.

STEVE MARTIN TURNS DOWN PUBLIC OUTCRY TO PORTRAY V.P CANDIDATE TIM WALZ

Steve Martin won’t be playing vice-presidential candidate Tim Walz on “Saturday Night Live.” Martin confirmed to The Los Angeles Times that Lorne Michaels asked him to play the role and he said no. “I wanted to say no and, by the way, he wanted me to say no,” Martin said. “I said, ‘Lorne, I’m not an impressionist. You need someone who can really nail the guy.’ I was picked because I have gray hair and glasses.”
* “Hey, Steve, how’d you like an opportunity to alienate half your fans?”
* What a jerk! Oh, wait, he already did that movie.
* That’s it, Steve Martin just lost my vote.
* Get that Jeopardy champion who looks just like Steve Martin – Sam Buttrey is his name. On Jeopardy, he’s even funnier than Steve Martin.

THE BUZZ

DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Missouri Museum Unveils World’s Longest Shoelace”
2. “Believe It Or Not, Some Of The Most Popular Brisket In Texas Comes From A Gas Station”
3. “I Did Everything ‘Right’ And I Still Got Herpes”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “Smoke-Tainted California Grapes Find New Life As Vodka”

AUDIO: THE MOST LETHAL JOBS

According to data from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, here are the most dangerous jobs in the U.S., based on the number of fatal work injuries per 100,000 full-time workers. These are numbers from 2022. Warning: Danger ahead!
1. Logging: 100.7 work-related deaths for every 100,000 workers in 2022. (* That 7-tenths must be because someone got too close to the buzzsaw.)
2. Roofing: 57.5 deaths per 100,000 workers
3. Fishing and Hunting 50.9 deaths per 100,000 workers
4. Construction: 38.5 deaths per 100,000 workers
5. Pilots and flight engineers: 35.9 per 100,000 workers
6. Drivers/On-The-Road Salesmen/Truckers: 30.4 deaths per 100,000 workers
* #7 Most Dangerous Job: Olympic long-distance swimmer in the Seine River.
* Another dangerous job is the guy who stands between a Kardashian and a camera.
* These take “dead end job” to a whole new level.
* When you punch out from these jobs it’s serious.
CLIP: Here is our “Wilhelm Roofers” parody spot.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/04-10-WilhelmRoofers(dot)mp3

U.S. NEWS

NANTUCKET MAN MUGGED BY SEAGULL

Nantucket, Massachusetts, Airport Manager Noah Karberg was robbed in broad daylight on Sunday by a seagull. While Karberg was loading groceries into his car, a seagull swooped down, landed in his shopping cart, and took off with his wallet. “It mugged me,” Karberg said. “It just grabbed my wallet and went.” He had put his wallet and keys into the top tray of the Stop & Shop cart. As he walked around the car to open the door to load the groceries, the gull struck. He chased the seagull across the Stop & Shop parking lot, over a fence, and onto the roof of the neighboring car wash. He watched as the bird pecked at the wallet. Some cash came out and flew away in the breeze. Despite the best efforts of the Nantucket Police Department, Karberg has not recovered his wallet, and the bird remains at large.
* The gulls aren’t talking. Not a stool pigeon among ’em.
* As the seagull flew away, it flipped him the bird.
* Keep your eyes open for a seagull pecking at the keys of an ATM machine.
* Hopefully there won’t suddenly be huge purchases of fish on his credit cards.
* The wallet of a man from Nantucket / Left alone ’til a local bird struck it / He tried to give chase / But the gull won the race / So he finally just said, “Aw, I wish this was streaming radio.”

SPEEDER STARTS DOING YOGA POSES

The Whitefish Bay, Wisconsin Police Department pulled over a woman going 60 in a 30 mile-per-hour zone back on July 22 about 1:30 a.m. After a bit of difficulty – she kept taking off and then stopping again – they arrested 35-year-old Mallory Griffin. Back at the police station, an officer asked if she had any bruises. Griffin said, “Do you want me to get undressed? Do you want to see it?” Then she started doing yoga poses. “Can you do what I can do? Can you do this and you’re a cop?” she asked. “And I haven’t worked out in three years.” Police determined she was under the influence of something. She was charged with a DWI and other offenses.
* A variety of charges, because the police were … flexible.
* She was simultaneously well-balanced and a little unbalanced.
* “Ma’am, do you know how fast you were om-ing?”
* She could be aiming for a stretch in prison.
* What a poser.

ASTRONAUTS STUCK ON ISS UNTIL 2025

Those two astronauts who have already been stuck on the International Space Station for more than 60 days may have to wait until early 2025 before they can return to Earth. NASA on Wednesday announced another delay in bringing home Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams. Their trip was supposed to last just eight days. NASA said that if tests in the coming weeks suggest that making the trip home on the Boeing Starliner proves too risky, they may have to be rescued by the rival SpaceX CrewDragon, though that vessel won’t be ready until February.
* Marooned. Marooned by morons.
* That’s a lot more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches than they bargained for.
* I hope NASA is at least giving them a reduced rate on the room.
* The astronauts have one urgent request: Please send up fresh underwear.
* In space, no one can hear you drumming your fingers for six months.

TRENDING

TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERTS CANCELED OVER TERRORIST THREATS

Three Taylor Swift concerts in Vienna, Austria, planned for this week were called off on Wednesday after officials discovered a plan for a terrorist attack. Two suspected extremists, one 19-years-old, were arrested in Austria on Wednesday, one of whom appeared to be planning an attack on “an event in the Vienna area” such as upcoming Taylor Swift concerts, authorities said. Swift was scheduled to play at the city’s stadium on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. The 19-year-old had allegedly pledged an oath of allegiance to the Islamic State group. An official said that chemical substances were discovered and were being evaluated. He didn’t give more details.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 2, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Wednesday – Patriot Day
Sept. 20, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 14, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Wednesday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Thursday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Jackie Cruz (actress, “Orange Is the New Black”) … 40
J. C. Chasez (singer with ‘N Sync) … 48
Mark Wills (country singer) … 51
Patricia Arquette (actress, “Severance”) … 57
David “The Edge” Evans (guitarist with U2) … 63
Don “Donny” Most (actor, “Glee,” “Happy Days”) … 71
Keith Carradine (actor) … 75
Dustin Hoffman (actor) … 87

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Life stinks, but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy it.”

(A) Larry David
(B) Buddha
(C) Dustin Hoffman

ANSWER: (C) Dustin Hoffman

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2020 – While trying out an electric bike with family in the courtyard of his Malibu, California home, British music mogul and television personality Simon Cowell had an accident and broke his back in several places. He would later break an arm in another electric bike accident in 2022.
* Maybe switch to an electric TRIcycle?

2008 – Former Democratic vice-presidential nominee John Edwards admitted having had an extramarital affair.
* He didn’t want to have an affair, but it’s mandatory for politicians.

1996 – Portuguese people protested against the popularity of English words being used in their country.
* Personally, I think using foreign words is so passé.

1981 – The world’s largest kite was flown. It measured just less than 6000 square feet.
* The guy holding the string was last seen over the Arctic Circle three years ago.

1963 – The Great Train Robbery took place in England, with a total “haul” of $7.3 million.
* Of course, we have our own American Great Train Robbery every time someone buys a ticket on Amtrak.

1899 – The first household refrigerator was patented by A.T. Marshall of Brockton, Massachusetts.
* He put the patent certificate on the door with magnets.

1876 – Thomas Edison patented the mimeograph.
* So nobody would copy it.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2020 – Taylor Swift became the first artist to debut at No.1 on both the Hot 100 single and U.S. album charst when her album “Folklore” and its lead single “Cardigan” both went to the top. “Folklore” also became her seventh consecutive No.1 album.

2019 – Thousands of Beatles fans made a pilgrimage to London’s Abbey Road for the 50th anniversary of the day the group walked over its “zebra crossing” stripes for the cover of “Abbey Road,” the last album the band recorded. Transport for London said two bus routes were briefly diverted as queues to cross the road blocked access.

2007 – The U.S. National Musical Publishers’ Association joined other businesses in seeking to sue YouTube claiming songwriters were not being properly compensated when their music appeared on the site.

1996 – Kiss appeared at the Riverfront Coliseum in Cincinnati, Ohio on their 192-date Alive World Tour. During this show a fan threw his fake leg on stage, which all the members signed and handed back to him.

1992 – A riot broke out during a Guns N’ Roses and Metallica gig at Montreal stadium when Metallica’s show was cut short after singer James Hetfield was injured by pyrotechnics.

1983 – Harold Melvin and members from The Bluenotes were arrested in Atlantic City on charges of cocaine possession.

1969 – The photo session for the cover of The Beatles’ “Abbey Road” album took place on the crossing outside Abbey Road studios. Six shots were taken and it was over in less than ten minutes.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Parents spend, on average, 140 hours a year doing THIS. What is it?
Making breakfast

2. According to a recent survey, parents of kids ages 6 to 12 years old spend about $250 a year on THIS. What is it?
Birthday party gifts

3. According to a recent survey, THIS is the number 1 thing moms daydream about. What is it?
Winning the lottery

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