THE TOWN THAT HATED CHRISTMAS

The town of Exeter, New Hampshire, won’t be decorated with holiday lights this season. The local utility company, Unitil, installed some new lighting poles this summer that changed the overall electric layout of downtown. Any hanging garland that gets closer than 40 inches to the light poles is against city code. The town is hoping to update the code for next year.
* This sounds like one of those lousy Hallmark Channel movies.
* Isn’t there a little blonde girl in the town who can make a wish to Santa and figure out how to save Christmas?
* Sure – update the code, hang stuff closer than 40 inches from the lights, and burn down the town.
* Pretend it’s a Christmas bonfire.
* This is a shame because nobody rocks Christmas like downtown Exeter, New Hampshire.
* Can’t they paint all the town’s pigeons red and green and stick an LED up their butt, and let them sit on the light poles?
* When questioned about the screw-up the utility company spokesman just said, “Bah, humbug!”
* So it’s “The City Code That Stole Christmas” starring Jim Carrey.
* Maybe not. Jim’s in the middle of a nightmare scandal right now.
* Maybe they should make the preppies at Phillip’s Exeter Academy walk up and down main street carrying lights.
* I’ve got your hanging garland right here for you.