THE SEXIEST MASCOTS IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

Gambling site BetUS came up with a ranking of the 15 Sexiest Mascots in Major League Baseball. The ranking was based off the mascots’ personalities, job titles, “golden ratio” of features proportions, search interest and social media following:
1. D. Baxter, Arizona Diamondbacks
2. Phillie Phanatic, Philadelphia Phillies
3. Clark the Cub, Chicago Cubs
4. Rosie Red, Cincinnati Reds
5. Mrs. Met, New York Mets
6. Billy the Marlin, Miami Marlins
7. Mr. Met, New York Mets
8. Raymond, Tampa Bay Rays
9. Orbit, Houston Astros
10. Oriole Bird, Baltimore Orioles
11. Blooper, Atlanta Braves
12. Fredbird, St. Louis Cardinals
13. PAWS, Detroit Tigers
14. Slider, Cleveland Guardians
15. Rangers Captain, Texas Rangers
* How did Brian Wilson of the Dodgers not make the list?
* Mr. Met is damn lucky Mrs. Met scored higher than him, or that would have been one tense household.
* You know how there are the Disney character costumes, and then there’s a secondary level of all the other character costumes that are just a little off? Major League Baseball mascots costumes look like they’re designed by the people below THAT.
* Frankly, I wouldn’t let any of them get to first base.
* At least Major League Baseball offers a solid career path in this world for furries.
* Whoever at BetUS thinks baseball mascots are sexy really needs to get laid.