THE PACKING PIGEON BANDIT

The FBI is seeking the public’s help to find the “Packing Pigeon Bandit,” a Glendale, Arizona, bank robber so named because he was packing a gun and walked with his toes facing inward. The pigeon-toed bandit walked up to a teller counter, displayed a handgun and demanded money. Surveillance video from inside the bank shows the robber ordering customers to the ground while pointing a handgun at them. No one was injured in the encounter.
* All the cool bandit names must be taken.
* Not only does the FBI put you on their wanted list, they have to body-shame you.
* Maybe the poor guy needs money for special shoes?
* Maybe he was walking funny to throw them off?
* If you ever rob a bank, pretend you have a limp until you’re out the door.
* With a name like Packing Pigeon Bandit, you’d think he had birds up his sleeves, like a magician.
* Now we need a stool pigeon to turn him in.
* He’s the Packing Pigeon Bandit now but soon he’ll be just another jail bird.
* The Packing Pigeon? Maybe this is a good time to give thanks that real pigeons don’t carry guns.
* Whenever they say no one was injured, I always think, “You mean besides the trauma of having a gun pointed at you?”
* I think they should put it like this: No one was shot.