THE BEEF TONGUE BANDIT

In Lytle, Texas, a woman was busted after allegedly walking out of a supermarket with a cartful of stolen goods — including $150 worth of beef tongues. A police officer had just popped into the store for lunch when he spotted Roxanne Hernandez, 36, walking out of the store without paying. He tried to stop her, but a scuffle unfolded, which prompted another officer to come help. Around the same time, the suspect’s husband showed up and escalated the situation. The officers were able to calm him down and get her under arrest. Police said the “Beef Tongue Bandit” had slipped out the door with $308 worth of groceries, including the beef tongues and a 12-pack of Dr. Pepper Zero.
* You can always judge a woman by how she holds her lickers.
* Let her go. It’s not like anybody else was ever going to buy beef tongues.
* Why steal beef tongues? Because, she said, the steaks were too high.
* But the Dr. Pepper Zero is a weird choice. 7-Up and Sprite pair so much better with beef tongue.
* If she goes to trial I bet the judge gives her a tongue-lashing.