TEXAS POLITICAL CAMPAIGN FUNDED BY DEER SEMEN

Ana Lisa Garza, a Texas district court judge, is challenging Democrat Ryan Guillen for the District 31 seat he’s held for eight terms. According to her last campaign finance report, Garza received $36,500 in monetary donations and $51,000 in donations of deer semen. The straws of deer semen comes from deer breeders. Each deer semen straw is assigned a $1,000 value. Breeders market their deers’ antler size and shape as reasons to buy semen from their bucks. The donors’ straws were sold at a Texas Deer Association event last month, with the money donated to Garza’s campaign. The Texas Deer Association’s political action committee has received $976,025 in deer semen donations between 2006 and 2016.
* Deer semen is worth $1,000 a straw, but usually it’s under a buck.
* Using deer semen as money. That’s even weirder than Bitcoin.
* I don’t even want to imagine how they get it in the straw.
* How do they get the male deer to… you know… Do they give it a copy of Play-Doe magazine?
* It helps that the bucks are always horny.