TARDY WOMAN MAKES UP "I WAS CHASED BY A CLOWN" EXCUSE

A woman made up a report that she was attacked by a clown with a knife because she was running late to her job at McDonald’s. Alexsandra Conley, 18, called Reading, Ohio, police around 6 a.m. Saturday, saying a clown jumped over a fence, waved a knife at her and cut her left thumb. Conley described the suspect as a male wearing a clown suit with a red wig, white facial makeup and a teardrop on his left cheek. Police said Conley was calm as she was being examined by medics, even using her cellphone to access Facebook. After an in-depth investigation, police found several inconsistencies in her report. Eventually, Conley admitted to making up the story because she was running late for work and didn’t want to lose her job. Conley was charged with one count of making false alarms.
* Worst of all, now she has to have a “Clown Lives Matter” session with Ronald McDonald.
* This is very serious, Alexsandra. Those burgers at McDonald’s aren’t going to serve themselves.
* At least she didn’t claim that Ronald McDonald stabbed her.
* Of course it wasn’t true. Clowns don’t carry knives – it’s too dangerous around their balloon animals.
* Now all the Killer Klowns in Reading, Ohio know they can go after her and no one will believe her.
* What happens next all comes down to one thing: How hot she is.
* They charged her so I’m guessing she’s not that hot.
* She said the clown had a teardrop on his left cheek? It didn’t work, but that’s still a winning move. Always try and prop up your lame story with some little details.
* Emmett Kelly wept.