TAINTED AUSTRALIAN SPINACH CAUSES HALLUCINATIONS

Toxic spinach has sparked a health alert in Australia after people who consumed it suffered severe sickness and hallucinations. Nine people needed medical care after eating the Riviera Farms baby spinach from Costco. Health authorities say symptoms have also included delirium, spiked heart rates and blurred vision. Riviera Farms says it believes the spinach was contaminated by a weed. New South Wales Health has warned any packets of the brand’s spinach with an expiry date of December 16 are not safe to consume and should be thrown out. It also urged anyone who has experienced any unusual symptoms after eating the spinach to immediately seek hospital care, man.
* Head for the trip tent.
* The hallucinations from the toxic spinach include severe anger issues, extraordinary strength and a desire to be blown down.
* Speaking of which, Popeye was heard to say: “I yam what I yam, and that’s all what I yam, and I yam the walrus, goo-goo-ga-joob!”
* If you want some of the weed, the groundskeeper at Riviera Farms can hook you up around the back.
* Here’s your chance, kids. When mom serves you spinach, whip out this story.