SUBWAY NOSE-PICKING MASTURBATOR AT LARGE

Police in Manhattan are looking for a man seen masturbating twice on subways in the last month. In one instance, a 34-year-old woman reported seeing the suspect masturbating on a train during the height of the morning rush. Less than two weeks later, a 32-year-old man also reported seeing the suspect masturbating on a train. Police released a photo of the suspect in which he appears to be picking his nose.
* Oh, and he also spits chewing tobacco, and farts a lot.
* Also belching.
* I thought Harvey Weinstein was in rehab?
* Gonna be an interesting mugshot.
* Hey, I know riding the subway can be boring, but that’s what newspapers are for.
* It’s the sickest thing involving subways since Jared Fogle.
* They call him the Nose-Picking Masturbator because “Mr. Debonair” was already taken?