STRESS SURVEY

(Note: for full effect, do this story at 7:23 am)
A new survey of 2,000 adults by stress reducer Rescue Remedy finds the most stressful time of day is… [an-ti-ci-pa-tion]… 7:23 a.m.!!! In addition:
– The first case of “drama” – something that you have to “deal” with – typically happens by 8:18 a.m.
– Individuals experience an average of three dramas a day, with women having their first case of morning drama around 7:50 a.m., while men typically make it to 8:43 a.m.
The survey also ranks the top everyday stressors. Here are some of them:
– Stuck in traffic
– Spilling something down clothing
– Breaking something accidentally
– Waking up late
– Spilling something on the carpet
– Burning food
– Tripping in public (* Far out, man!)
– Struggling to find a parking space
– Being late for work
– Forgetting bags at the supermarket
– Being locked out
– Car engine not starting
– Being late
– Sending a text message to the wrong person
– Deciding what to have for dinner
– Deciding what to wear
* Oh, boo-hoo. Who are you, the King of England to not have any stress? “Good morning, your highness! Here’s your breakfast, your highness! Here’s what you’re going to wear today, your highness! Your brother is a pervert, your highness!” Everyone’s got problems, you’re not special.
* Every human being on this planet wakes up with stress every day. What is it? Your bladder. And the day just goes downhill from there.
* Just think – if you’d been in a horrible accident and you were in the hospital in a body cast, none of these could happen to you. Weird, huh?
* To paraphrase George Carlin, this morning I definitely heard my Rice Krispies say, “Snap, Crackle and Up Yours!”
* A good way to deal with all this is, when you wake up, immediately have three Bloody Marys – BANG! BANG! BANG!