SPEND THE END OF THE WORLD IN NEW ZEALAND

In a study published this month in the journal Sustainability, a pair of researchers at UK’s Anglia Ruskin University have decided that, should the end of the world be at hand, New Zealand would be the best country to be in when doomsday arrives. The study notes that global “collapse” is increasingly likely due to such “Earth System” problems as climate change. But certain countries have “favorable starting conditions” for, presumably, starting human civilization over. They decided that the last people on Earth would have to be able to protect the borders and live in a temperate climate. So they chose large islands with complex societies on them already. Of the authors’ nations with the “greatest potential” for a more pleasant apocalypse experience, New Zealand topped the list, which also included Iceland, the United Kingdom, Australia and Ireland.
* If these clowns never heard of Curacao or Tahiti, let’s not tell them.
* They chose New Zealand because, like Australia, everything there will kill you pretty quick so you don’t have a long, drawn-out death.
* New Zealanders are going to love this news. “We’re closed! Have you tried Iceland?”
* Which begs the question: whatever happened to Old Zealand?
* If an island is the best place for an apocalypse, I’d go to King’s Island amusement park in Ohio. That place rocks.