SCIENTISTS POTTY TRAIN COWS

Scientists in Germany have been able to potty train cows. Livestock waste is a very real problem – a single cow can produce about 8 gallons of urine a day, which when mixed with feces becomes ammonia, which taints the water with nitrates and creates airborne pollutants. Researchers put the cows in a special pen, waited until they urinated, and then gave them a reward: a sweet liquid of mostly molasses. If the cows urinated outside the pen, they got a squirt of cold water. The training worked on 11 out of 16 cows, and it took only 15 days to train the young calves. Done on a larger scale, it would make it easier to manage waste products and reduce greenhouse gas emissions. The study points out that they only trained cows to use the pen to urinate, not defecate.
* So the cow experiment wasn’t a total flop.
* The hard part for the cows afterwards is trying to turn the faucets to wash their hooves.
* What happened to the cows that they trained? Are they now running around the pasture looking for a bathroom, doing a little cow potty dance?
* I bet they could also teach cows the correct way to hang the toilet paper, which is, of course, over and not under.