SCHOOL TEACHES YOU HOW TO BE WEALTHY

A man named Jonathan Cheban says he is opening up a school for rich kids to teach them how to be wealthy. In an interview with New You magazine, Cheban explained that his finishing school, the International School of New York – which is NOT opened yet – will advise “wealthy kids” on such tricky topics as selecting the perfect diamond, choosing the best leather for the interior of their private jet, understanding the different types of caviar, plus “other fundamental undergrad and grad classes.” Cheban told the publication, “This is the social stuff you need to know to survive in a city like this with a lot of money.”
* Wait – when you have a lot of money, is surviving really an issue?
* Things you need to know when you’re wealthy:
– How to read a map to the rooms in your house you’ve never seen.
– Understanding dollar amounts that are less than a million.
– Care and feeding of your human chess set.
– Which pair of shoes to wear when firing the cook.
– Understanding the difference between “super yachts” and “mega yachts”.
– When you forget which mansion you left your car keys in.
– How to never poop.
* One thing that Jonathan’s not covering: How to spot shysters trying to trick you out of your money.
* A school for rich kids? They already have those – they’re called prep schools.
* Understanding the different types of caviar? That’s trying way too hard to be obnoxious.
* I’m guessing this guy isn’t a big Bernie Sanders fan.
* Of course the main topic will be how to hide the wealth offshore so you don’t pay taxes on it.
* Uh oh. The correspondence course will be taught by Bernie Madoff.