SCHOOL SUSPENDS 500 COOL KIDS FOR SKIPPING CLASS

More than 500 students at Harrisburg High School in Pennsylvania were given suspension notices last week for skipping at least a week’s worth of classes. It’s all part of a crackdown by the school’s new principal Lisa Love who says enormous numbers of students are not going to class. She said students often go to school but then skip class and are loitering in hallways and other parts of the large school. At least 100 students served one-day suspensions last Tuesday. Many parents have provided documentation to explain away the absence of their little snowflakes.
* Punish the school skippers by making them not come to school. Good idea.
* This is going on your permanent record, young man.
* Did the school not notice 500 kids not standing in the hallways during class?
* 499 missing kids was okay, but, boy, once they hit that 500 mark they realized they had a problem.
* In the students’ defense, everyone knows Miss Towsner’s English class is totally bogus.
* “Enormous numbers of students are not going to class”? Well, that explains why they’re so dumb.
* It’s almost like they see the future as a bleak, chaotic mess with little chance of any real opportunity.
* Gee, I wonder if they ever joke about the principal being called Lisa Love?
* Hey, you have to admit: it does sound like a porno name.