ROCK BAND BRINGS DOWN THE CEILING DURING CONCERT

On Wednesday, a concert at Festival Hall in Melbourne, Australia, went a little haywire. The American heavy metal band Bad Omens was performing the final song in their set when they set off some confetti cannons. The explosive concussions dislodged pieces of the ceiling, which fell onto the crowd. Several fans were injured by the falling debris – none life-threatening but still painful and injurious. Bad Omens appeared to have been completely unaware of the incident, as they proceeded to perform the rest of the song before walking offstage and returning shortly after for an encore.
* Stupid band. You’re supposed to raise the roof, not cave it in.
* Heavy metal, man – it’s right there in the name, it’s not gonna stay up in the air.
* Lately, it’s been performers on stages who are hit with stuff – thrown by the audience.
* This would never happen to a band named Good Fortune. (* apparently, there IS a band named Good Fortune.)

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JOKE OF THE DAY

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What did the octopus say to the bagpipes?

posted March 19

“Nice pajamas.”

A woman lived with her daughter and son-in-law.

posted March 18

One day she came home to find her son-in-law packing a suitcase. He says, “I’m leaving, it’s the end of our marriage. I texted my wife to say I’d be home early, and when I got here I found her in bed with another man.” The mother-in-law said, “No, my daughter would never do that, there must be a simple explanation, I’ll go and talk to her.” After a while, the mother-in-law comes back and says, “There, I told you there was a simple explanation. She never got your text.”

Why wouldn’t the nearsighted vampire buy glasses?

posted March 17

He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.

Guy staggers into a bar.

posted March 16

Bartender says, “You look beat.” Guy says, “I just walked five mile, climbed two trees, waded across a creek, almost stepped on a rattlesnake and outran a bear.” Bartender says, “You must be quite the outdoorsman.” Guy says, “No, I’m just a lousy golfer.”

A guy goes up to his boss after an ethics training seminar.

posted March 13

He says, “Boss, that ethics training has me feeling bad about us doing product testing on animals. His boss says, “Look, animal testing is an accepted practice, many shampoo and cosmetics manufacturers test their products on animals.” Guy says, “Yeah, but we make hammers.”