ROBBER DOES STRETCHES IN PARKING LOT BEFORE CRIME

Police in Philadelphia are trying to track down a man who robbed a Dunkin’ Donuts on Saturday morning. Surveillance video caught the suspect doing stretches in the parking lot before the crime. Security video shows him entering the store, leaping over the counter and pointing a gun at the employee. He told the cashier, “You have 20 seconds to give me the money from the registers.” The man ran away with a bag of cash quickly, no doubt helped by his pre-crime workout. Police describe the suspect as 5’10” to 6’ tall, with a medium athletic build.
* And an ass to die for.
* He’s ripped, and the store was ripped off.
* He didn’t want to pull a muscle while pulling the caper.
* If they catch him, he’ll be doing a stretch … in PRISON!!!
* I’m sure his cellmate will appreciate how limber he is.
* He’s not going to get away with … squat.
* Great, finally a guy who cares about conditioning in this country and he’s a thief.
* He’s going to be a big hit in the exercise yard.
* Instead of “Pump you up” he wants to “Hold you up.”
* Most people just stretch their stomachs at Dunkin’ Donuts.