POT GROWER SURRENDERS TO POLICE UNNECESSARILY

A man who was growing marijuana in an Edgewater, Florida storage unit panicked when he heard a police helicopter hovering overhead Wednesday afternoon and called 911 to surrender. The thing was, the helicopter was there for a different case. 47-year-old Jasper Harrison told the dispatcher he was “the guy” they were looking for, adding he wanted to come out without being shot. Harrison told the dispatcher he wanted police to contact him. An officer called and got directions to his storage unit. Police found 150 grams (about 5 ounces) of cultivated marijuana and nine plants inside. Harrison faces charges of growing marijuana within 1,000 feet of a school and intent to sell.
* Exactly how stoned was he when he made that call?
* Remember, kids, one of the side effects of marijuana is paranoia.
* Another side effect is stupidity.
* I have an idea for the police: Drive around storage units with a loudspeaker blasting the sound of a helicopter overhead – see what happens.
* I don’t get it: Ten million miles of swamp and he’s growing in a storage unit?
* I guess you don’t have to worry about an alligator showing up in the storage unit.
* How come exciting stuff like this never makes that “Storage Wars” reality show?
* I like how he went all “big shot” with it. “I’m the guy you’re looking for …”
* Yeah, those are the two big-time drug lords the DEA has been searching for: El Chapo and Jasper Harrison of Edgewater.
* Ooh! Nine plants and 5 ounces of weed! That’s, like, a week’s worth for Snoop Dogg.
* Now he wants to collect a reward.