POLICE SEEK TERRORIZING PIG MAN

Police in Malvern, England, are attempting to track down a man who has been terrifying school children by approaching them while wearing a full-headed rubber pig mask. There have been reports of Pig Man targeting children at two separate schools, jumping out in front of pupils and scaring them.
* He’s causing them to wee all the way home.
* Sounds like he’s a hog for attention. What a ham!
* Some describe the man’s behavior as “boorish”.
* They can probably rule out any Jewish suspects.
* I once saw Pig Man open for Panic! At The Disco.