POLICE SEEK BACON BANDIT

Oklahoma City police are searching for a man accused of stealing six packages of bacon from a grocery store by stuffing them inside his shirt. The man was confronted by an employee at the Smart Saver store after he was seen hiding six packages of bacon – totaling about $30 worth – inside his shirt. The man refused to return the pilfered pork packages and left the store in a hurry.
* Where’s your police dog? Police dogs are designed for this kind of caper.
* I’ve heard of bringing home the bacon but this is ridiculous.
* Time to increase security around the eggs.
* Concealed bacon? This calls for a strip search.
* You can mess with our borders and our national security, but damn it, you start messing with our bacon and you’re going to have a fight on your hands.
* At least we know it wasn’t a Muslim terrorist. They don’t eat bacon.
* “We’d like to review what it means to be a Smart Saver customer. Some of you are taking it a little too far.”
* Don’t ask where he hid the salami.