POLICE ARREST CAPTAIN DICKHEAD

Police responding to an early morning disturbance at a residence in Sebastian, Florida, encountered a woman who apologized for arguing loudly with her boyfriend in the home’s backyard. When asked multiple times to identify himself, the boyfriend refused and was “being evasive and argumentative.” After cops handcuffed the man, they asked him his name one more time, and he said his name was “Captain Dickhead.” Investigators subsequently identified The Captain as Joseph Boren, 25. He was arrested on a misdemeanor obstruction charge.
* Captain Dickhead arrested for being a General Nuisance.
* If you’re going to be a dickhead, you might as well rank yourself as Captain and not, say, Lieutenant Dickhead.
* Although Private Dickhead might be more appropriate on a couple of levels.
* Coincidentally, Captain Dickhead shared a holding cell with Professor Douchebag.
* Eventually, he was released and returned to his girlfriend, Princess Ass Munch.