PEOPLE GIVE UP ON ALEXA AFTER TWO WEEKS

According to internal Amazon data obtained by Bloomberg News, people who get an Amazon Alexa device tend to stop using it after only two weeks. On the other hand, sales figures show the number of households who have Alexa continues to grow. The device is advertised as being able to set alarms, reminders, answer questions, search the internet, control smart home devices, tell you jokes, provide interesting facts, and even play games with you. Yet Amazon’s own documents show that these devices are often only used for playing music, setting timers, or turning on lights. Alexa device owners “discover half of the features they will ever use within three hours of activating the device.”
* And you can’t even hang your pajamas on it, like you can your Stairmaster.
* Are you trying to tell me that tech companies sell people things that they just don’t need? Unbelievable.
* Amazon is really ticked off about this, ’cause when you don’t use Alexa, they can’t spy on you.
* The problem is voice control. Honestly, sometimes it’s just too much trouble to formulate a thought into speech. Maybe if they had a device that responds to grunts, I’d consider getting one.
* I can just see all the people out there hearing this going, “Oh, man, my parents are gonna hate this Alexa I bought for them for Christmas, and I don’t have time to get back to the store.”