PEAK HAPPINESS: AGE 9

A new study finds has found that life satisfaction pretty much peaks at age 9, and then decreases between the ages of nine and 16. But then it peaks again at the age of 70. The study, which comes out of that well-known college German Sport University in Cologne, Germany, examined the subjective well-being over the entire lifespans of 460,902 participants. From that group, they studied 443 samples that described how people felt about themselves during childhood, young adulthood, and eventually old age. Overall, children saw their life satisfaction drop off during adolescence, declining from age nine to 16. (* Stupid puberty!) Life satisfaction then increases “slightly” until the age of 70, when it dropped off again until the age of 96.
* Of course you feel good at age 70, because you just got done with 69. Hi-YOOOOOOO!!!!
* This has got to be great news for all those Asian kids in the sneaker factories. 9-years-old is IT, baby!
* Kinda makes sense, being as how we’re just a little more than a month away from giving kids free candy.
* Results may vary, especially if you’re the kid who always gets teased and robbed of his lunch money.
* Peak happiness at age 9 explains a lot. I’m going to have to go home and play with my Star Wars Legos and think about this.