PARENTS PROTEST OVER SCHOOL MASCOT, THE FARMINGTON PHOENIX

Parents in Farmington, Utah, are petitioning to change the name of a new high school mascot. Farmington High School, which opens in 2018, named their mascot the “Phoenix”. Kyle Fraughton, a parent of future Farmington students, joined his neighbors to practice cheering for the new team. The group tried cheering for “Phoenixes,” as in, “Go, Phoenixes!!!” but that didn’t sound right. They went online and found an alternative pluralization “Phoenices,” (FEE-nih-sizz … sounds like “penises”) and they tried the cheer again. Here – let’s all try it together — “Go Phoenices” – ready, one, two, three… (EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM): “GOOOOO PHOENICES!” Mr. Fraughton is leading a move to change the high school mascot to, well, pretty much anything else before the school opens its doors in the fall of 2018.
* Well, that mascot was a big flop.
* Who knew it would be this hard?
* If only the school administration had been as careful as Kyle Fraughton.
* How about the Flaming Birds? Then on special occasions you could light the mascot on fire.
* How about the Farmington Hassle, then they’d cheer, “Goooo Hassles” (try to make it sound like “ASS-holes”, like “HASS-sulls”) —- no, that wouldn’t work, either.