OZEMPIC CELEBRITY DREAMS

Back in the day, there was a drug to help you sleep called Ambien. It was very effective, but had the unusual side effect of making you sleepwalk. People were cooking, walking, driving, assaulting their spouses, all while sound asleep. Now, there’s a new drug also causing a weird side effect: Ozempic is an anti-diabetes medication, but people have found it’s also effective for weight loss. The side effect: users are reporting bizarre, vivid and eerily realistic dreams, many involving celebrities. The manufacturer, Novo Nordisk, says they’ve received reports of abnormal dreams among users of Ozempic, but they don’t have enough information to establish whether the drugs are causing the dreams. (* Uh-huh. Because this never came up in drug trials, right?) There are now social-media groups where people are sharing their Ozempic dreams. Some of the dreams:
– A woman dreamed she joined the cast of The Golden Girls.
– Someone was preparing to rob a museum with Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck.
– A woman told Dwayne Johnson, “I am carrying your baby,” and, judging by his reaction, was open to blending their families.
– A woman watched a parade of cows and bulls at a cattle auction with actor Matthew McConaughey. Then he started climbing atop the small pet llama she had brought, and she had to raise her voice to tell him to stop. “Fine, you can stay with your llama, I’m leaving!” Mr. McConaughey screamed before storming off.
– “Spent the night at Home Depot ordering new cabinets and appliances for my kitchen. My salesman, Clint Eastwood, helped me pick out everything I would need.”
– “Jonah Hill was waiting tables on a cruise, telling the diners that he had changed his name to “Sundaze” and planned to quit film acting for career as a nightclub performer.”
– Oprah Winfrey rode in a go-kart to rescue a man who was playing in a baseball game before a hostile crowd.
– A woman was about to give birth in a bar and wanted actor Will Ferrell, standing nearby, to deliver the baby.
– “Shopped for shoes with Jeff Goldblum.”
– “Went to an eye doctor with Johnny Depp.”
– “Toured North Korea with Minnie Pearl.”
– Argued about how to set up a tent with Kathie Lee Gifford, woke up after screaming, “I hate you, Kathie Lee Gifford!”
* That last one is actually very common, Ozempic or no Ozempic. Everyone has the “I hate you, Kathie Lee Gifford!” dream.
* How would I take Ozempic to have a dream with Scarlett Johansson?
* The manufacturer has a big problem here. They can’t figure out how to monetize this.
* And the celebrities are starting to ask for appearance fees.
PHONE TOPIC: Ozempic or not, have you have a weird celebrity dream?