NORWAY KILLS POPULAR WALRUS BECAUSE IT WAS POPULAR

The Norwegian government euthanized – killed – its celebrity walrus Freya on early Sunday morning, because the public wouldn’t stay away from her and they didn’t want anyone to get hurt. Freya had been spending the summer at the Oslo Fjord, an inlet on the country’s southeastern coast, and was seemingly unafraid of humans, unlike most walruses. She would climb onto small boats at the harbor to sunbathe and steal beer out of their mini-fridges. (* Not really.) Officials noticed public had started interacting with Freya, swimming with her and throwing objects at her, and getting dangerously close to take photos. There was a suggestion to relocate Freya out of the fjord, but then that plan was deemed “too complex.” (* Which is Norwegian for “expensive.”) The Norwegian Directorate of Fisheries determined that she was a threat to human safety, so, they offed her.
* I guess you could say being so popular…sealed her fate.
* Really, what else does Norway have to spend its money except relocating walruses?
* Starting Wednesday, all Norwegians will be getting their share of the blubber in the mail.