NAIL POLISH COMPANY CAPITALIZES ON PARIS ATTACK

Brooklyn-based company Duri Cosmetics is currently promoting a range of Paris-themed nail polish so “beauty mavens can unite and wave hands (and toes) in unity.” The company is urging customers to buy three of its nail colors – “Baton Rouge Blue,” “I Do” (solid white) and “Parisian Tango” (red) – the colors of the French flag – at $6 a pop, describing the gesture as an “effortless way to pay respects and show support.” In the press release, the company boasts how buyers can “offer a helping hand to Paris” with a “high ten” manicure customized with toxin-free, “chip-resistant, long-lasting nail polishes.” Trouble is, not a penny of the proceeds will help surviving victims of Friday’s massacre. When asked, a Duri Cosmetics spokeswoman from Manhattan p.r. firm C.I. Visions said: “Unfortunately, Duri Cosmetics had trouble getting a donation program with it.”
* Before we talk about how craven this is, let me point out that “Baton Rouge” is French for “Red Stick” and so “Baton Rouge Blue” makes no sense.
* As a sidelight, I would like to beat this company’s executives with a red stick until they were black and blue.
* I like the spokeswoman here. It’s not easy to spin that hard and make no sense at all.
* “We could just donate some of the profits but we had trouble getting a donation program with it.” That almost sounds real.
* “We particularly had trouble with the idea of giving up the money.”
* On the bright side, with every set of blue, white, and red nail polish they sell, they will later be moved to hotter and hotter levels of Hell.
* How times change. It wasn’t too long ago that we wouldn’t even say French Fries.
* Remember that? We were calling them Freedom Fries. (In 2003, France declined to join the international “coalition” to invade Iraq.)