MONDAY, Sept 30 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR MONDAY, September 30, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: SONG – LET’S GET POLITICAL

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

INTERNATIONAL PODCAST DAY

NATIONAL CHEWING GUM DAY

NATIONAL HOT MULLED CIDER DAY

NATIONAL MUD PACK DAY

September is:

Baby Safety Month
Better Breakfast Month
Chicken Month
Classical Music Month
Hispanic Heritage Month
Honey Month
Little League Month
National Piano Month
Self Improvement Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites

TUESDAY, October 1

Season Premieres:
NBC – “The Irrational,” “The Voice”

WEDNESDAY, October 2

“Joan”
CW – New Series
Synopsis: A mother trapped in a disastrous marriage with a violent criminal seizes the opportunity to create a new life for herself and her daughter when he goes on the run.

“The Last Days of the Space Age”
Hulu – New Limited Series
Synopsis: Chaos hits Perth, Australia, as it hosts the Miss Universe pageant and Skylab crashes outside the city limits.

“Where’s Wanda?”
Apple TV+ – New Series
Synopsis: Dedo and Carlotta Klatt, desperate to locate their missing 17-year-old daughter Wanda, take matters into their own hands and hatch a wild plan: Spy on the neighborhood.

Season Premiere:
CW – “Sullivan’s Crossing”

THE BUZZ

WHAT YOUR COCKTAIL SAYS ABOUT YOU, ACCORDING TO BARTENDERS

BuzzFeed asked bartenders to share the assumptions they make about people based on their drink orders. Here is what they said:
– Jack and Coke: “You’ll be fighting someone in a few hours.”
– Moscow Mule: “There’s a 75% chance you’re about to bitch about it not being in a copper mug. And if it is in one, you will likely try to steal it.”
– Gin and Tonic: “They will talk your ear off whether you like it or not, and after four drinks, will take someone inappropriate home.”
– Tequila: “Ordering a tequila shot usually means you don’t work tomorrow.”
– Vodka and Red Bull: “Ordering a Vodka Red Bull means I’ll have to keep an eye on you throughout the night because you’re about to act drunk and high.”
– Rosé: “I wish I liked wine.”
– “Fireball: “Fireball shots = underage or first-time drinker who can’t wait to have an epic hangover story.”
– Absinthe: “If you order absinthe, I’m just going to assume that you have at least five leatherbound books from the 1800s and maybe, like, three friends.”
– Vodka: “Vodka is what every basic white person who thinks they’re a sophisticated drinker orders.”
– Manhattan: “A Manhattan says, ‘I binge-watched Mad Men.'”
– Blended Drink: “Anything blended = high maintenance”
– Long Island Ice Tea: “Long Island iced tea drinkers rarely tip and almost always ask us to ‘make it strong.'”
– Whiskey or Bourbon: “I want everyone to know how cool I am.”
– Martini: “You don’t drink much but want to try a martini cause they look sophisticated. Then, you’re gonna complain about the taste.”
* So remember this when you’re out at the bars … Mom.
* So basically, if you make a bartender do anything more than pull you a beer, they don’t like you.
* What’s next – “Customers That Pizza Delivery People Don’t Like”? “The Most Annoying Customers According To Movie Ticket Takers”?
* Jeeze, if I wanted to be judged for my drinking, I’d just stay home.

U.S. NEWS

POLITICAL CANDIDATE BORROWS WIFE, KIDS FOR CAMPAIGN AD

A Republican running for office in Virginia made a campaign ad including pictures of himself posing with the wife and kids standing in a nice suburban neighborhood. Only problem is, those aren’t his wife and kids. It might not even be his neighborhood. Derrick Anderson, a former Army Green Beret, is running for an open seat in Virginia’s Seventh District. The woman and three girls featured in the video are the family of one of Anderson’s longtime friends. Anderson says that he is engaged and lives alone with his dog. He has no children. In a separate scene, Anderson is seen sitting around a dining room table with the same woman and three girls. When asked about the obvious deception, a spokesperson for Anderson said the footage simply shows Anderson posing “with female supporters and their kids.” The spokesperson called it a “normal campaign video.”
* Unfortunately, that’s exactly what it is – a normal campaign video.
* The advantage of renting a family to run for office is, if any of your kids embarrasses you, you can fire them. There have been more than a few presidents who wish they could have done THAT.
* At this point, if I were a news reporter, I’d check up to make sure the fiancé is real. Could be inflatable.
* And they’d better run a background check on the dog.
* But really, can we blame him? Army Green Berets are taught to do whatever it takes to get the job done.

COUPLE NAMES BABY AFTER BREWERY WHERE HE WAS BORN

A Michigan couple named their new son after the place he was born, which was a brewery parking lot. Kyle (“Kylee”) and Aaron Baker were out for dinner back on August 13 when Kyle went into labor. It was their baby’s exact due date. Aaron headed for the hospital, but it became obvious they weren’t going to make it. Aaron pulled into the parking lot of One Well Brewing in Kalamazoo. By the time he parked, walked around to the passenger side and got the car door open, he had to catch the baby’s head as it popped out. The parents decided to honor the memory of their unique birthplace in their son’s: Forrest Wells Baker.
* At least it wasn’t Schlitz.
* Or a Wendy’s.
* The kid is lucky. One of the most popular beers in Michigan (true!) is Short’s Huma Lupa Licious India Pale Ale.
* Like the beer, the baby has a good character, and a nice head on it.
* You’d think the brewery would give them free beer for life or something cool. But now, they just got a bill for cleaning up the mess in the parking lot.

AUDIO: WEIGHT WATCHERS CEO LEAVES; REPLACED BY SHAKE SHACK EXEC

Weight Watchers shook up its leadership over the weekend. The diet company announced Friday that CEO Sima Sistani would leave her role effective immediately. Stepping into the position is Tara Comonte, a WeightWatchers board member and former Shake Shack executive. The company didn’t reveal the reasons behind the abrupt move, but noted that they are “focused on improving its operational and financial performance.” Since its beginnings, Weight Watchers has focused on diet and exercise, but recently has moved into the prescription drug weight loss business creating a telehealth service that helps users get prescriptions for drugs like Ozempic, Wegovy and Trulicity.
* Their new slogan is, “Anyone wanna buy a warehouse full of diet food?”
* A Shake Shack exec is leading Weight Watchers? They’ve been infiltrated by the enemy! Does nobody see this?
* That’s like putting a company that makes opioids in charge of the Narcan supply. Oh, wait—
* Now Sima Sistani should go to Shake Shack, create low-calorie products, and cut down Weight Watchers’ customer base.
CLIP: Our classic “Weight Listeners” parody spot.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/04-30-WeightListeners(dot)mp3

SLAP FIGHTING LEADS TO BRAIN DAMAGE

The first study performed on slap fighters does not look good. Slap fighting is where competitors take turns delivering open-handed slaps to each other’s faces. The fight continues until one participant is knocked out or judges declare a winner. There’s an audience and they televise it. Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine conducted the first academic analysis of the controversial sport. After analyzing 333 slaps across 78 fights, the researchers found that more than half of the slap sequences resulted in participants showing visible signs of concussion. Nearly 80% of fighters demonstrated at least one visible sign of concussion during their matches. The most common signs included motor incoordination, slowness to get up, and a blank and vacant look.
* I exhibit those same signs after eating at Cheesecake Factory.
* This is a real slap in the face to slap fighting.
* How much brain damage do you start with that you want to get into slap fighting?
* Researchers recommend slap fighters now start wearing those giant foam hands people wear at football games.
* The damage scale is measured in Moes, as in, “On a scale of one to a hundred, you’re at 70 Moes.” Which is about three-quarters of a Larry.

NASA SENDS SHIP TO RESCUE STRANDED ASTRONAUTS

NASA sent up the rocket that will retrieve those two astronauts stranded on the space station. The SpaceX mission took off Saturday afternoon from Cape Canaveral Space Force Station in Florida. This mission was supposed to carry four astronauts, but two of them were dropped to leave empty seats for Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore on the return trip, which is still scheduled for February. The Crew-9 Dragon also is bringing extra spacesuits up to the Space Station for them.
* A hair tie! Take a hair tie for that astronaut lady with the fright wig hair!
* The rocket was painted with a big “Suck it, Boeing!”
* Are they taking a fruitcake for Christmas?
* Actually, no rocket could take off with the weight of a fruitcake.
* The astronauts still have to wait ’til February? I hope they have that return capsule locked up real good.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

MAN SUES MOM FOR THROWING OUT HIS COMIC BOOKS

A 20-year-old Taiwanese man is suing his mother because she threw away his comic book collection. The 64-year-old woman from Chiayi City, Taiwan, tossed her son’s 32-volume ‘Attack on Titan’ manga collection. She found the collection, determined that they were a little damp, and decided to toss them to free up some much-needed space. When the son came home and learned that his collection was gone, he went ballistic and called the police on his mother. He later took her to court for destroying his personal property without his consent. The incident took place in February of this year, but the verdict just came back. Mom was fined 5,000 Taiwanese dollars ($160) for property damage. The judge said her failure to respect her son’s property rights was inappropriate.
* “Here’s your $160, and here’s the apartment rental listings. See you at Christmas.”
* Too bad he didn’t take better care of his comics. If they hadn’t been damp, he could have gotten $200.
* Sounds like a really sad episode of “Judge Judy.”
* At least she didn’t throw out his Barbie dolls, like my mom did.

TRENDING

MAGGIE SMITH DIED

Dame Maggie Smith, the British legend of the stage and screen who enjoyed a seven-decade career in show business, died on Friday. She was 89. Smith was best known for playing stern Professor McGonagall in the eight “Harry Potter” films and the acerbic Dowager Countess of Grantham on “Downton Abbey.” Over the course of her career she won two Academy Awards, four Emmy Awards, three Golden Globe Awards, five BAFTA Awards and a Tony Award.

FRANCES BEAN COBAIN HAS A BABY

Frances Bean Cobain and husband Riley Hawk are now proud parents celebrating their first child. Frances — the daughter of late Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain and rocker Courtney Love — delivered the exciting news via Instagram, posting 2 photos of the couple’s baby boy. A third image showed Riley — who is the son of retired pro skateboarder Tony Hawk — holding the baby. They named the girl Ronin Walker Cobain Hawk. She was born on September 17, 2024.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (9/27 – 9/29)

1. The Wild Robot – $35 million
2. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice – $16 million
3. Transformers One – $9.3 million
4. Speak No Evil – $4.3 million
5. Megalopolis– $4 million

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Oct. 14, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Wednesday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Thursday – Halloween
Nov. 3, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Ends, turn clocks back 1 hour
Nov. 11, Monday – Veterans Day
Nov. 28, Thursday – Thanksgiving

BIRTHDAYS

Christopher Jackson (actor, “Bull”) … 49
Jenna Elfman (actress, “Fear the Walking Dead,” “Dharma and Greg”) … 53
Tony Hale (actor, “Veep,” “Arrested Development”) … 54
Eddie Montgomery (country singer w/ Montgomery Gentry) … 61
Eric Stoltz (actor) … 63
Fran Drescher (actress, “The Nanny”) … 67
Barry Williams (actor, “The Brady Bunch”) … 70
Deborah Allen (country singer) … 71
Johnny Mathis (singer) … 89
Angie Dickenson (actress, “Police Woman”) … 93

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I wasn’t always this confident. It’s been a long and painful transformation from the total nerd I was in high school. I was so pathetic and it was all because of my teeth. My mouth was so small for my teeth that the dentist had to pull eight of them out and then hook me up in this horrible headgear for years. I looked like some space creature and that’s how the other kids treated me.”

(A) Donny Osmond
(B) Gary Busey
(C) Jenna Elfman

ANSWER: (C) Jenna Elfman

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1955 – 24-year-old Hollywood superstar James Dean was killed at 5:45 pm when his Porsche Spyder 550 sports car crashed into another vehicle at high speed – Dean was hurrying to enter the Porsche in a race at Salinas, California.
* Notice nobody ever mentions what happened to the other guy.

1929 – The first manned rocket plane flight was made by automaker Fritz von Opel.
* There was some speculation the rocket plane would replace the automobile, but that idea died when it turned out the driver’s insurance would be about $30,000 a month.

1894 – The safety pin was invented.
* To keep your clothing together when those new-fangled zippers broke.

1846 – Boston dentist Dr. William Morton used the experimental anesthetic, ether, for the first time on a patient at Massachusetts General Hospital.
* He later commented that dentistry wasn’t nearly as much fun when the patient couldn’t feel the pain.

1660 – Alexander Selkirk was shipwrecked on Juan Fernandez Island off South America. His ordeal was the basis for Daniel Defoe’s classic novel “Robinson Crusoe.”
* And the Selkirk family never got a penny from it.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2022 – Ed Sheeran was ordered to stand trial in the U.S. over claims he copied his hit song “Thinking Out Loud” from Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.” A jury found him not guilty.

2016 – A schoolboy from Philadelphia who skipped class to meet his musical hero handed his teacher an absence note with a difference. The typewritten note was signed by Bruce Springsteen. Fifth-grader Michael Fenerty met the star at a “meet-and-greet” in the Free Library of Philadelphia when Springsteen was in town signing copies of his new autobiography, “Born to Run.”

2007 – Country music singer Keith Urban crashed his motorcycle on the way to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. The 39-year-old, who was not injured, said he was being followed by a photographer when the accident happened near his home in Sydney, Australia.

2003 – An auction of the contents of Sir Elton John’s London home raised about $2.5 million. Sir Elton sold off the items so he could redecorate his home in a more modern style.

1998 – Blues guitar prodigy Jonny Lang, rock guitarist Slash, punk rocker Joey Ramone, and Cheap Trickster Rick Nelson are among the musicians who guest-starred on “The Drew Carey Show.” On the program, Carey’s band was looking for a lead guitarist, and a string of axemen auditioned for the gig – including Ramone, even though he didn’t play guitar in the Ramones.

1997 – Fleetwood Mac’s reunion show at the Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford, N.J., grossed a house record of $1,094,520.

1995 – Mariah Carey made chart history when she started an eight week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Fantasy,” making her the first female act to enter the chart in pole position.

1993 – George Harrison and David Crosby made guest appearances on the fifth season premiere of the Fox animated comedy series “The Simpsons.”

1993 – Kate Pierson from The B-52’s was charged with criminal mischief and trespassing during an anti-fur protest at Vogue magazine’s New York City offices.

1974 – Police were called to a Lynyrd Skynyrd and Blue Oyster Cult concert after a fight broke out between two sound engineers. The Skynyrd roadie claimed that the sound had been deliberately turned off during the band’s set.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. A survey found that the average single person spends seven minutes of their workday doing THIS. What is it?
Using their dating app

2. One-third of men in a recent survey said they have taken time off work to do for THIS. What is it?
Watch a sporting event

3. According to surveys, 1 in 6 of us has done THIS while at a bar. What is it?
Been on a work conference call

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