MONDAY, Dec 16 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR MONDAY, December 16, 2024
(Print button is at bottom of post. To print with larger type, cut and paste content into a document, and print that document.)

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing – including “holidays” created by the National Day Calendar and Wellcat websites to drive traffic to their websites – or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL CHOCOLATE COVERED ANYTHING DAY

STUPID TOY DAY

December is:

Exotic/Tropical Fruits Month
National Egg Nog Month
National Fruit Cake Month
National Stress-Free Family Holiday Month
National Write a Business Plan Month
Safe Toys and Gifts Month
Tomato Month
Winter Squash Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide, EW and other websites

MONDAY, December 16

“Little Big Town’s Christmas at the Opry”
NBC – Special
Synopsis: Little Big Town stars, also with performances from Dan+Shay, Kelsea Ballerini, Josh Groban, Kirk Franklin and more.

TUESDAY, December 17

“Aaron Rodgers: Enigma”
Netflix – Docuseries
Synopsis: Follows New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers as he rebounds from his Achilles injury, and chronicles the defining and most controversial moments of his life and career in the NFL.

“Ronny Chieng: Love to Hate It
Netflix – Comedy Special
Comedian Ronny Chieng shares humorous insights on topics like IVF, online discourse, politics, and generational divides.

“The Simpsons: O C’mon All Ye Faithful”
Disney+ – Special
Synopsis: Famous Brit mentalist Derren Brown comes to Springfield and uses psychological tricks and showmanship to raise the town’s holiday spirit. But when Homer gets hypnotized and mistakenly believes he is Santa Claus, it sets off a chain-reaction and causes everyone to question what they believe is a “miracle.”

WEDNESDAY, December 18

“A Saturday Night Live Christmas”
NBC – Special
Synopsis: Replays the most memorable holiday sketch”es from the past 50 seasons of the comedy show.

“iHeartRadio Jingle Ball 2024”
ABC – Special
Synopsis: Presents music from top artists including Katy Perry, SZA, Tate McRae, Jack Harlow, twenty one pilots, Teddy Swims, Meghan Trainor, Camila Cabello, Kane Brown, Jason Derulo, Benson Boone, Gracie Abrams and more.

“Julia’s Stepping Stones”
Netflix – Documentary
Synopsis: Oscar-winning filmmaker Julia Reichert reflects on the social, economic and personal forces that led to her career as a pioneering documentarian.

“The Secret Lives of Animals”
Apple TV+ – Docuseries
Synopsis: Focuses on specific behaviors that are pivotal in the life cycles of various animals — from birth and leaving home to raising a family, and from finding food to growing old — highlighting their striking intelligence and adaptability.

THE BUZZ

WHAT TEACHERS DON’T WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

A former teacher named Natalie has a TikTok where she revealed the three so-called presents no teacher wants to receive during the holidays. She says, “If you’ve been in the classroom long enough you will have gotten one of these ‘gifts’ that’s not quite the blessing you hoped for”:
– First, anything from Victoria’s Secret — even the lotion or perfume. She says “a Victoria’ Secret bag on your desk is awkward.” (* Well, there goes my kid’s gift to Mr. Larson.)
– No unannounced giant treat for the entire class. Teachers are forced to deal with the aftermath of their young students hopped up on sugar and the subsequent crash.
– Lastly, teachers don’t want your advances. “I’ve had a few dads try to come on to me over the years and it is uncomfortable,” she said.
* That last one sounds like a humblebrag.
* So, if I’m hearing her right, a live pet, like a ferret or a betta fish, would be okay.
* Maybe some noise-cancelling headphones?
* PHONE TOPIC: Teachers – what’s the worst or strangest gift you ever got?

THE GOOP 2024 GIFT GUIDE

Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle brand Goop has their usual assortment of gift ideas for the holidays. Here are some of the more unusual and expensive gifts from the already pricey catalogue:
– The Dust Test: Have your home tested for mold, then get expert advice on how to address it. $274
– Body Balance Magnets: Like ear seeds for your whole body. $55
– Weekly Avocado Subscription: Four pounds of handpicked California-grown Hass avocados, delivered once a week throughout the growing season. Price starts at $33.60 a week.
– Restraint Tape – ultrasoft and easy to remove. $55 a roll. (* Kidnappers – impress your victims with ultrasoft restraint tape!)
– Red Light Hat: A ball cap with a red light inside that is supposed to stimulate hair growth, support circulation, healthy hair follicles, and scalp rejuvenation. $449. (* Merry Christmas, honey! Just didn’t want you to forget that you’re bald!)
– Dating Coaching with Amy Nobile, $25,000 for a 4-month program. Here’s what she says: “We work together for the entire four months. Together, we build an entire strategy, re-design your dating profile so that it actually sounds and looks like YOU, and then off we go. I’ll teach you the secrets of how to banter, after we do an analysis of who you are and who you’re looking to attract.” (* For $25,000 you’ve already attracted a scam artist.)
– Sleep Coaching with Kelly Murray, $6,500 for private coaching or $3,500 for group coaching. (* You need a sleep coach if your dating coach didn’t work out, I guess.)
– The Ammortal Chamber: An eternal youth therapy bed. Combines multiwave PEF (Pulsed Electric Fields) and PEMF (Pulsed Electromagnetic Field) technology with red light therapy, vibro-acoustic sound therapy, and hydrogen inhalation therapy in one cutting-edge at-home bed. $149,000. Not a typo. (* You should know – and this is true – that PEF technology was developed for the preservation of foods.)

U.S. NEWS

SANTA CLAUS PUTS OUT A FIRE

In Marcus Hook, Pennsylvania, a firefighter dressed as Santa helped battle a house fire on Friday night. He was attending a Christmas event when flames broke out around 6:45 p.m. in a nearby house. The name of the firefighting Santa was not released. Authorities say no one was injured. The cause of the fire remains under investigation.
* Suspicion is falling on Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer…
* They suspect a large sack of packages that was somehow jammed inside the chimney.
* But they heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight / “Keep your Christmas tree watered, the thing might ignite.”
* ♫ ♩ “Chestnuts roasting in an indoor fire …” ♪ ♬
* Afterwards, the fire crew enjoyed a nice dinner of smoked venison.

ANOTHER LEGO CRIME RING BUSTED

Police in Texas have busted another Lego crime ring. A group of men were involved. Yes, grown men. The group of at least 10 men would buy items at stores, usually under $2, with their credit cards, then alter the receipts to make it look like they bought expensive Lego sets. Later, another one of the gang would enter the store, pick up the expensive Lego sets on the fake receipt, and walk out. If they were questioned by a store clerk, they simply produced the altered receipt, police said. They would then sell the stolen Lego sets to another man, who was selling them online at as much as a 70% discount from their retail value. The Lego sets the group stole were worth a combined $400,000. The gang targeted stores in 50 North Texas cities.
* Police have a lot to build a case with, now that they’ve put the pieces together.
* $400,000 – that’s, what, about 8 Lego sets?
* And you know 100,000 Lego bricks cost about a dime to manufacture, so isn’t Lego kind of asking for it?
* Legos are recommended for 6 thru 12 years. Which is the same sentence the judge is going to give them – 6 to 12 years.
* Wanna thank the Texas police for explaining to America how to do an altered-receipt shoplifting scam. Thanks, bros!

BROWN SNOW IN MAINE

The town of Rumford, Maine had an odd weather event last Tuesday. The town paper mill accidentally released a paper-making byproduct called “black liquor” into the area, resulting in the town being covered in brown snow. Black liquor is a byproduct of the paper production process. Officials warned residents not to touch the brown snow because the substance is an alkali and a skin irritant. The town said the mill has agreed to cover costs of testing of the snow.
* And in 200 years of paper production in Maine, this has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.
* Just a little toxic airborne event. No cause for alarm. Ha-ha.
* Some tourist started singing, “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,” and locals went, “White? Whatchu talkin’ about, white?”
* Black liquor. Anybody else feeling like a shot of Jägermeister right now?

DRUNK DRIVER CLAIMS TO BE A PROFESSIONAL DRINKER

In Wheat Ridge, Colorado, police arrived at the scene of a multi-car crash back on December 4 and asked the driver who caused it how many drinks he had. The man said he had “probably 10” drinks. And then also told the officer, quote, “Hey, I’m gonna tell you right now, like, I’m a professional drinker.” Police said a breathalyzer test showed the driver had a Blood Alcohol Content of .326 – over four times the legal limit. No one was injured in the crash. The driver’s name was not released.
* Drunky McDrunkface?
* You certainly don’t want to leave car accidents to amateurs.
* Getting paid to drink. Yet another career option my guidance counselor failed to tell me about.
* Only a professional drinker can remember after 10 drinks that he’s had 10 drinks.
* The great thing about professional drinking is, you can work from home.
* And should.

THERMOMETER FACTORY OWNER SENTENCED FOR MERCURY EXPOSURE

The owner of a New York thermometer factory has been sentenced to three years of probation for failing to protect workers who were exposed to hazardous levels of mercury. Robert Peyser, 66, and his company, Kessler Thermometer Corp., had earlier pleaded guilty to reckless endangerment for exposing employees to spilled mercury and not providing proper ventilation or protective equipment. The charges stemmed from a mercury spill at the West Babylon facility in August of 2022. As a result of the exposure, one of the employees needed to get a pacemaker installed and another needs an oxygen tank to assist his breathing to this day, officials said.
* I’ve been exposed to hazardous levels of mercury. If I hear “Bohemian Rhapsody” one more time today I’ll scream.
* When the judge delivered his sentence, Mr. Peyser told him where he could stick it. Just like his thermometers.
* I hear the prosecutor gave him the third degree on the stand.
* He promised the judge there would be no more problems ’cause he’s going to replace all the workers with robots.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

AUDIO: WAR ON CHRISTMAS – MINISTER TELLS SCHOOL KIDS SANTA ISN’T REAL

Last week in Hampshire, England, local vicar Reverend Paul Chamberlain went to Lee-on-the-Solent junior school to speak to the kids, aged between 10 and 11, about the nativity story, and ended up telling them there was no Santa Claus, prompting pupils to cry. He also told them that their parents bought their presents and ate the cookies they left out for Santa. Angry parents said he “ruined Christmas.” The vicar later admitted that this was an error of judgment, and sent a letter of apology to parents and the children.
* Boy, the Church really hates competition.
* “I know how to win the kids’ hearts – I’ll destroy their childhood!”
* It’s never too late to get pulled from Santa’s Nice List and put on the Naughty List.
* Yeah, it’s awful to tell 10-year-old soccer hooligans there is no Santa Claus.
CLIP: A “War on Christmas” sounder.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/WarOnXmas2(dot)mp3

TRENDING

JAMIE FOXX ATTACKED AT RESTAURANT

Jamie Foxx is recovering after an incident at a restaurant during his birthday dinner on Friday left him with injuries. It happened at the Mr. Chow restaurant in Los Angeles. Someone from another table reportedly threw a glass that hit him in the mouth. He had to get stitches and is recovering. The police were called and the matter is now in law enforcement’s hands. No arrests were made. The incident comes days after the Hollywood star detailed the struggles he had with his health last year in a Netflix special titled: “Jamie Foxx: What Had Happened Was.”

BILLIE EILISH HIT IN FACE WITH FLYING BRACELET WHILE PERFORMING

Billie Eilish is the latest artist to get hit with an object thrown from the audience while performing. She was performing in Glendale, Arizona Friday night, sitting at the front of the stage singing “What Was I Made For?” when what appeared to be a blue bracelet smacked her just below the eye, temporarily stunning her. Fans start booing, but Billie jumped back into the song without addressing the incident and kept on singing.

“MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE” REVIVAL

The beloved – maybe not beloved but well-remembered – TV show “Malcolm in the Middle” will get a quick reboot in a four-episode run coming to Disney+. Original stars Frankie Muniz, Bryan Cranston and Jane Kaczmarek are all attached to return for the limited series, which comes 25 years after “Malcolm in the Middle” first debuted on Fox. Muniz will reprise his role as Malcolm, while Cranston and Kaczmarek return as parents Hal and Lois. (* No Dewey? No Reese? No the other brother?) The new episodes will see Malcolm and his daughter get drawn into the family’s chaos when Hal and Lois demand his presence for their 40th wedding anniversary party. There’s no word on when the shows will air.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (12/13 – 12/15)

1. Moana 2 – $26.6 million
2. Wicked – $22.5 million
3. Kraven the Hunter – $11 million
4.Gladiator 2 – $7.8 million
5. Lord of the Rings: War of the Rohirrihorrhurarahummerum… – $4.6 million

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Dec. 21, Saturday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:21 a.m. (EST)
Dec. 25, Wednesday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Tuesday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Wednesday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Theo James (actor, “The Gentlemen,” “The White Lotus,” Four in the “Divergent” movies) … 40
Krysten Ritter (actress, “Orphan Black: Echoes,” “Jessica Jones”) … 43
Michael McCary (singer, formerly w Boyz II Men) … 53
Benjamin Bratt (actor, “Private Practice,” “Law & Order”) … 61
Xander Berkeley (actor, “The Walking Dead”) … 69
Billy Gibbons (rock musician, ZZ Top) … 75
Benny Anderson (singer with ABBA) … 78
Lesley Stahl (TV news journalist) … 83

Today’s Birthdays grade: Some classic names, some names you’ll know, some you might not, no super-exciting names … let’s call it a B-minus.

[Want to try something different with the daily birthdays? Try grading them! Some days have “good” celebs, some have “great” celebs, some have “lousy” celebs. For fun, give the group an arbitrary grade: A-plus through F-minus. Sidekick will give you our take on it; you can to take the concept and run with it.]

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Naturally, obviously, nudity is a part of life.”

(A) Miley Cyrus
(B) Elon Musk
(C) Theo James

ANSWER: (C) Theo James

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2010 – Larry King concluded his CNN talk show after 25 years.
* 25 – isn’t that also how many times he was married?

1844 – Nitrous oxide was first used in dentistry.
* Technically, it was first used on a patient on this date, but I’ll bet the dentists had already been experimenting with it for weeks.

1773 – A group of Boston tax protesters disguised as Indians boarded a British ship and dumped its cargo of tea into Boston Harbor – “The Boston Tea Party” became a rallying point for American independence.
* It’s hard to understand why the colonists cared so much about tea, until you realize they considered it an aphrodisiac.

1631 – Mt. Vesuvius erupted, killing 4,000 people.
* Sure, it’s sad, but it happened hundreds of years ago, so they’d be dead by now anyway.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2013 – It was reported that Miley Cyrus had insured her infamous tongue for $1 million. A source told Heat magazine: “Miley’s totally aware of how her tongue is getting more headlines than she is, and getting it insured is just part of her trademarked image. It’s not the first time she’s done something like this – when she first cut her hair short, she tried to get her new crop patented. She wanted it to become known as The Miley.”

2007 – Singer songwriter Dan Fogelberg died at his home in Maine at the age of 56. He discovered he had advanced prostate cancer in 2004.

2003 – Michael Jackson was released on bail of $3 million after being arrested following allegations of child abuse.

2001 – Stuart Adamson, lead singer of Big Country, was found dead in a Hawaii hotel room a month after disappearing from his home in the U.S. The 43-year-old musician had fought a long battle against alcoholism.

1993 – MTV aired Nirvana’s “Unplugged” session for the first time.

1991 – Chubby Checker filed a lawsuit against McDonald’s in Canada seeking $14 million for its alleged use of an imitation of his voice on “The Twist,” in a French fries commercial.

1971 – The eight-and-a-half minute single, “American Pie,” was released by singer Don McLean.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 55% of women in a recent survey admitted they have done THIS on company time. What is it?
Went to get a tan

2. 25% of men in a recent survey admitted they have done THIS at work. What is it?
Checked out an ex-partner’s Facebook page

3. 33% of people in a recent survey admitted they have done THIS at work. What is it?
Illegally downloaded music

(c) 2024
MORNING SIDEKICK RADIO SHOW PREP & COMEDY
8062 West Massey Circle
Littleton, CO 80128
USA
morningsidekick(at)gmail(dot)(com)
Tel: 303-727-9111