MERMAID FOUND

Authorities are asking for help identifying a nearly naked woman found wandering down a Fresno, California street Tuesday morning. Fresno is about 100 miles from the Pacific Ocean. The woman’s hair was wet when she was found around 3 a.m. The 5-foot-4, 150-pound woman told officers that she was a mermaid, and that her name was Joanna, according to the Fresno Police Department. The woman, who has two webbed toes on both feet, told officers that she had been in the water, but replied “I don’t know” to most questions, police said.
* Catch of the day.
* She was looking for a man named Gil.
* So the PR campaign for the “Aquaman” movie has begun.
* They’re asking for help identifying her? Did they check with Neptune, King of the Sea?
* Sounds like a real-life version of the movie “Splash.”
* Is anyone else picturing Daryl Hannah right now?
* Here’s the test from the movie: Give her a lobster and see if she bites into the shell.
* The sad part? She has crabs.
* Sorry, but webbed toes aren’t enough to make you a mermaid.
* We need a tail. Fins and a tail.