MAN TRIES TO PUT OUT FIRE WITH HIS AMMO-FILLED VAN

A Liberty, Kansas, man was burning garbage in a field and accidentally let the fire get out of control. In an attempt to put the fire out, he drove his van back and forth over the flames. This made matters worse, because the tires of the van caught fire. That’s when the man remembered the van was loaded with firearms ammunition and a full tank of gas. He abandoned the van in the field and got the hell out of there. A deputy saw the smoke and arrived to see a burning van with ammunition going off inside of it. Fire crews were called to make sure the fire didn’t get out of control.
* But they were too late and the fire spread from the field to the woods.
* Then the burning woods ignited a nearby nuclear plant.
* And that led directly to a worldwide conflagration.
* “Ladies and gentlemen, if you liked Burning Man, you’ll love … Burning Van!”
* I thought “fighting fire with fire” sounded dumb, but “fighting fire with a van full of ammunition” has it beat.
* His idea to roll over the fire with his van was simultaneously not so hot, and way TOO hot.
* Well, for once we have a crazy story with no alcohol involved. Just good ol’ down home dumbness.
* The good news: The garbage all burned up so his original plan worked.
* The bad news: His van is now a smoldering heap of twisted metal with 10,000 bullet holes in it.
* Now here’s David Bowie with “Putting Out Fire with Gasoline.”