MAN SETS FIRE TO GARAGE BECAUSE OF PHALLUSES DRAWN ON FACE

A Snowmass, Colorado man set fire to the garage of a home after his friends drew phallic symbols on his face while he was passed out. Stephen Elmore, 25, was one of group of five people that had been drinking. At some point, Elmore became angry at one of the other men, accused him of drawing phalluses (phalli?) on his face while he was passed out, and shoved him. A 37-year-old woman who owned the house also admitted to drawing on his face. After the scuffle, Elmore went downstairs to his room next to the garage, and 10 minutes later everybody smelled smoke. The residents managed to put the garage fire out before crews arrived. Elmore was not present at the home when police arrived, though he walked up not long after, still drunk and wearing only socks on his feet.
* And the cops asked, “Is this the dick-face who started the fire?”
* Socks? Well, it’s cold up there in the Rockies. He’s not a total idiot.
* Drawing phalluses on his face? At least they didn’t draw a face on his phallus.
* A dick move, on everybody’s part.